What happened to the man who stole a calendar from the store?

Chris Okello (Guest) on January 17, 2019

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔

Tabu (Guest) on January 15, 2019

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗

Raphael Okoth (Guest) on December 27, 2018

What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚

Faith Kariuki (Guest) on December 22, 2018

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! 🥕🐰👓

Husna (Guest) on December 4, 2018

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. ⏳😂

Mwanaidha (Guest) on November 18, 2018

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️

Issack (Guest) on November 15, 2018

🤣 This one’s fire!

Aziza (Guest) on November 14, 2018

There’s no 'we' in fries. 🍟🤨

Edith Cherotich (Guest) on November 3, 2018

My bank account is like a waterfall. Just constant flow... of money going away. 💸🏞️

Joyce Aoko (Guest) on October 25, 2018

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂💤

Elizabeth Mrope (Guest) on October 22, 2018

How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience! 🥒🥒

Mwanaisha (Guest) on October 13, 2018

Thanks Ackyshine

Agnes Njeri (Guest) on October 4, 2018

They say 'don’t try this at home,' so I’m coming over to your house to try it. 🚶‍♂️🏡

Salma (Guest) on October 3, 2018

The road to success is always under construction. 🚧🏗️

Bernard Oduor (Guest) on September 30, 2018

If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 🛌💬

Mercy Atieno (Guest) on September 22, 2018

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. 😜😎

Miriam Mchome (Guest) on September 6, 2018

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️

Agnes Njeri (Guest) on September 4, 2018

To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. 💼🤣

Mary Kidata (Guest) on September 2, 2018

Monday should be optional. 😴⏳

Victor Kimario (Guest) on August 19, 2018

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 🛌😬

David Kawawa (Guest) on August 19, 2018

I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 🙄💬

Jamila (Guest) on August 14, 2018

What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops! 🐸🍭

Nuru (Guest) on August 14, 2018

Why are pirates great singers? Because they can hit the high Cs! 🏴‍☠️🎶

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on August 11, 2018

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪

Robert Okello (Guest) on August 10, 2018

😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!

Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on August 2, 2018

If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙

George Ndungu (Guest) on August 2, 2018

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut! 🐿️🌰

Shabani (Guest) on July 24, 2018

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! 🌋❤️

John Malisa (Guest) on July 17, 2018

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅

Robert Ndunguru (Guest) on July 17, 2018

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! 🐑🦘

Joyce Mussa (Guest) on July 6, 2018

What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories! 📚🏢

Mwanahawa (Guest) on July 1, 2018

I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be caffeinated. ☕😆

Simon Kiprono (Guest) on June 28, 2018

Life is too short to remove USB safely. 🔌💻

Bahati (Guest) on June 8, 2018

Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy being fabulous. 📞😎

Mary Mrope (Guest) on June 3, 2018

Life is too short to wear boring socks. 🧦🎉

Nancy Komba (Guest) on May 24, 2018

I run like the winded. 🏃‍♂️💨

Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 16, 2018

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words. 👊💬

Fatuma (Guest) on May 10, 2018

Why did the watch break up with the clock? It found someone better for the time being! ⏰💔

Janet Mwikali (Guest) on May 3, 2018

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. 😜🛡️

Betty Akinyi (Guest) on April 25, 2018

I run like the winded. 🏃‍♀️😮‍💨

Mgeni (Guest) on April 21, 2018

I’d give up sarcasm, but that leaves me speechless. 😏🤐

Amina (Guest) on April 17, 2018

Sleep is my drug... my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police. 🛏️😴

Jafari (Guest) on April 11, 2018

This is pure comedy gold! 😄

Mustafa (Guest) on April 9, 2018

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. 💖🍕

Mzee (Guest) on April 5, 2018

Just what I needed today! Thank you! 😜

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on April 2, 2018

I’m not weird; I’m limited edition. 😜🦄

Mwanakhamis (Guest) on March 15, 2018

I love long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me. 🚶‍♂️😜

Grace Njuguna (Guest) on March 10, 2018

My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. 📝🤯

Mary Mrope (Guest) on March 8, 2018

😂 I’m sending this to everyone I know!

Catherine Mkumbo (Guest) on February 1, 2018

Haha! I couldn't stop laughing at this one! 🤣

Nahida (Guest) on January 22, 2018

If you can’t handle me at my worst, just wait. It gets worse. 😂🤯

Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on January 11, 2018

I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, let’s see what happens'. 🤷‍♂️🤭

Abubakari (Guest) on January 10, 2018

Calories don’t count if you eat with friends. 🍰👯‍♂️

Jamila (Guest) on December 24, 2017

If lying was a job, I'd be on a Forbes list by now. 😇📝

Monica Adhiambo (Guest) on December 16, 2017

Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates! 📅🛋️

Betty Kimaro (Guest) on December 14, 2017

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. 💵🚶‍♂️

Grace Njuguna (Guest) on December 10, 2017

😂 Gotta save this!

Mashaka (Guest) on December 4, 2017

I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter. 🍫💪

David Ochieng (Guest) on December 3, 2017

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine! 🍇🍷

George Wanjala (Guest) on December 2, 2017

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️‍♂️