Son: _Dad, what do I give my_ _girlfriend as a valentine gift?_

Dad : _How does she look?_

Son: _She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with, and even tall and also fair in completion._

Dad : _Give her my number._πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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πŸ“° Recommended PostsπŸ‘‡

πŸ“Œ How to be charismatic

Relax Your Way To The Top If you are looking to be charismatic, then the first and foremost thing that you have to do is to actually learn to relax. Some people try too hard to be charismatic, but only end up making a fool of themselves. This is not something that you would want to do. So, in order to work on your charisma, learn from the mistakes of others and relax. When you master the art of relaxing in a social setting, you automatically exude charisma. It's a known fact that people love to be around people who are calm and composed. Learn to channelize peace and tranquility to everyone you know and meet. This will help you seem extremely calm and a lot more attractive. With a personality of this sort, apart from wanting to be with you, people may even aspire to be like you. Confidence Concerns While being confident can be easily mistaken for being charismatic, there is a very distinct difference between being confident and being charismatic. Charisma is that quality that makes you seem like you have an extremely attractive personality, and confidence is that quality that adds to your charisma. Appearing confident can make you seem extremely charismatic, because your confidence apart from acting like a magnet will also help put the others around you at ease and create in them a desire to be around you. Here, however, you will have to take a lot of care to stay away from going overboard, because while confidence is one thing, overconfidence is a different thing altogether and it's that one quality that no one can really be fond of. Dish Out Attention In order to seem charismatic, it is important to listen and pay attention. When you manage to do this your charisma quotient automatically reaches new heights. You can pull off attention tactics by simply listening to what people have to tell you and talk as less as possible. However, when you actually do talk, make sure you talk sense and make sure the words that are coming out of your mouth are the kind of words that the other person would want to listen to. Make it a point to smile while you are talking. This will help add quite a lot of appeal to your personality. Be Considerate You are truly a considerate person when you treat others around you just the way you would want to be treated. You wouldn't want to be discriminated against under any grounds, so then there is no reason why you should treat one person differently from the other. Exercise this behavior pattern in your day-to-day life and watch how people are attracted to you like bees are to honey.

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πŸ“Œ Try this if you think you speak English fluently

try dis!
''THREE WITCHES WISH THREE WISHES,BUT WHICH WITCH KNOWS WHICH WISH WHICH WITCH WISHED."
Send it back as a voicenote, let's hear accents,
Don't spoil d fun….
Waiting 4 ur voicenote πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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πŸ“Œ I want to be a TV

I WANT TO BE A TV

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πŸ“Œ Ways to overcome public anxiety

Erase The Preconceived Notions People typically associate the task of public speaking with stress! This is absolutely untrue! Public speaking is only stressful if you allow it to be! Ironically, if you shake off this incorrect belief, public speaking can be a very enjoyable and invigorating experience for you. Try to dig out the hidden cause for your fear, diagnose it and say hello to a new fun hobby! Knock off the fear of public humiliation! You're overreacting! It's purely psychological. Stage fright can be curbed with a smooth build up of self-confidence. The best way to start that process is by facing reality and accepting that public speaking is not as difficult as you once thought! Capitalize On Three Good Points Stumble upon three relevant points and you're ready to nail it. In other words, you have good potential to set the stage on fire! Maintain a calm and composed demeanor! You don't have to be the funniest or smartest orator on the planet to receive a round of applause. Even if you make a couple of mistakes, skip a few important portions of your speech and pause for a minute, you haven't necessarily failed! Stop focusing so much on your performance, it's the value of the content effused that matters most. As long as audiences have something valuable to take back home (or with a smile on their faces), you will be remembered positively. Bear in mind that heaps of inconsequential facts does not augment your orator status. Stick to two or three clever points and render your speech interesting and genuine. Stress on one key point if you strongly believe in it. Diminish the number of quick notes and let words flow straight from the heart to the tip of your tongue! Avoid silly complexities for you will end up boring the crowd. Prepare But Don't Over-Prepare Preparation is essential. More importantly, prepare well in advance and not overnight for anxiety will double and the outcome will be messy. Practice does indeed make a man perfect but never overdo it. A speech turns superficial when planned too far ahead. It should be natural! In fact, the more effort you put into it, the worse might be your performance. So, don't over-prepare! Relax and take a deep breath! Just rehearse once and revise the key points along with a few good examples. Memorizing a speech verbatim only ruins the authenticity of a speech and implies that you don't have a firm grasp over the subject. Try not to script the speech! Gain self confidence and you will soon begin to respect the natural public speaker hidden deep down inside of you. Select A Topic That Interests You It will make all the difference if you chose a topic that you feel strongly passionate about! You will feel excited to research the topic and make the overall speech as interesting as possible. As you immerse your heart into it, you will notice your phobia slip away. Even when you have no choice but to resort to a lackluster topic, you could make alterations to the technique or approach of speech making. For example, make a colorful PowerPoint presentation or screen a funny video! The surging enthusiasm will tranquilize the goosebumps. Be Humble, If Not Humorous While adding a glint of humor to your speech would earn you brownie points, it's not mandatory. It is important to discover your style of speaking and work on improving that. However, it is important to maintain a fine sense of humility throughout your speech. When you stand up in front of the masses, share some of your weaknesses and frailties. This highlights your image as a credible, respectable and lovable speaker. Audiences will be able to connect with you and respect your honesty. If at all, humility isn't your style, don't feign it! The pretense of acting humble is easily detectable and this will trample your image in no time! You could hence make up for it by capitalizing on your good sense of humor! After all, who doesn't enjoy a good hearty laugh! Start with a joke or narrate a bunch of anecdotes, just don't digress from the actual topic. Don't Let Hecklers Get To You! Hecklers are all over the place and most of the time, they do a pretty good job at tormenting speech makers! However, it is in your best interest that you master the art of turning a deaf ear to such obstacles or counter-attack their witty statements with a wittier one. This most definitely helps you overcome all fears. But if you are still battling with glossophobia, then you should try your best and ignore those silly sadists or respond with an "I really appreciate your comment". Visualize Success Elite athletes rely on the technique of visualization to enhance their athletic performance. Every time you rehearse your speech, visualize your audience being amazed by your oratory skills! It is best to believe in yourself and that you are conveying solution for a very strong ground-breaking problem. Hence, your audiences ought to be impressed. Hear the cacophony of thousand claps and "wows" every time you emphasize on the last sentence of your speech! Boost your confidence!

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πŸ“Œ The story of crime girl πŸ‘§

A lady committed a crime and she was sent to court. The punishment for the crime was life imprisonment. She shed tears for help but to no avail.

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πŸ“Œ A lesson from ATM 🏧 machine

Yesterday I was at the ATM to get some cash because I dearly needed money.

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πŸ“Œ See how this man reacts!

A man went for HIV test on Saturday and they told him tocome back on Monday to pic his results.On sunday he went to church and the pastor was praying and said "… may the things that you'll receive as from tomorrow be positive …"The man quickly opened his eyes and shouted "Acha ujinga weweeee!!"

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πŸ“Œ Planning Concepts

Decentralization is highly linked with local government system and has been practiced in the country in varying degrees since colonial times. Historically, the concept of decentralization has never been a new concept in countries across the globe. The term attracted attention in the 1950s and 1960s when British and French colonial administrations prepared colonies for independence by devolving responsibilities programs to local authorities

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πŸ“Œ Which kind of witchcraft should I use?

People smoke and drink for a few days and get addicted to it.

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πŸ“Œ Funny mathematics paper

MATHEMATICS,PAPER 1 P299/2
Time:2:30mins
Instruction: Attempt any four
questions.
ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
1. You have dated a girl for two years and eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted (20 marks).
2. You buy airtime for your girlfriend and she calls another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive the general formula for this kind of love (20 marks).
3. You are dating four girls simultaneously, and each of these girls is demanding a Samsung Galaxy S5 and an Ipad 3 from you.
(a) Plot a graph of girls against the prices of these phones(15 marks).
(b) Using data from your graph, state the estimates of your future poverty (5 marks).
4. You are dating other people's sisters, but you don't want to see any guy with any of your sisters. Calculate the percentage error in your thinking capacity, given that you have 4 sisters and 3 girlfriends. Take Pi = 3.14 (20 marks).

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πŸ“Œ STORY: Do not ignore everything

A young man was
getting ready to
graduate from
college. For many
months he had
admired a beautiful
sports car in a
dealers showroom,
and knowing his
father could well
afford it, he told him
that was all he
wanted.
As Graduation Day
approached, the
young man awaited
signs that his
father had purchased
the car. Finally, on
the morning of his
graduation, his father
called him into his
private study, told
him how proud he
was to have such a
fine son, and how
much he loved him.
He handed him a
beautifully wrapped
gift box.
Curious, but
somewhat
disappointed, the
young man opened
the box and
found a lovely,
leather-bound Bible,
with his name
embossed
in gold.
Angrily, he raised his
voice to his father
and said,"With all
your money you give
me a Bible?" He
stormed out of the
house, leaving the
Bible behind.
Many years passed
and the young man
was very successful in
business. He had a
beautiful home and
wonderful family, but
realized his father
was very old. He
thought perhaps he
should go to him.He
had not seen him
since that graduation
day.
But before he could
make arrangements,
he received a
telegram telling him
his father had passed
away, and willed all
of his possessions to
him. He needed to
come home
immediately and take
care of things.
When he arrived at
his father's house,
sadness and regret
filled his heart. He
began to search
through his father's
important documents
and saw the Bible,
new,just as he had
left it years ago.
With tears, he
opened the Bible and
began to turn the
pages. His father had
carefully underlined a
verse, Matt 7:11,
"And if ye, being evil,
know
how to give good
gifts to your children,
how much more shall
your Heavenly Father
which is in Heaven,
give to those who ask
Him?"
As he read those
words, a car key
dropped from the
back of the Bible.It
had a tag with the
dealers name, the
same dealer who had
the sports car he had
desired.
On the tag was the
date of his
graduation, and the
words…
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do
we miss God's
blessings because
they are not
packaged as we
expected?

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πŸ“Œ The powerful prayer

A Priest has just requested that this be shared, kindly reflect on it. Thanks

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πŸ“Œ I hope everybody will reflect on this

1. If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!" Remember your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you, are they marrying spirits? Wise up!

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πŸ“Œ When to be silent

I Found this one somewhere and it made me think
I'm still learning…

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πŸ“° Recent PostsπŸ‘‡

A Dress proper ladies

Two young ladies arrived in a Meeting wearing clothes that were quite revealing their body parts. Here is what the Chairman told them: He took a good look at them and made them sit. Then he said something that, they might never forget in their life. He looked at them straight in the eyes and said; "ladies, everything that God mande valuable in this world is well covered and hardly to see, find or get.

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A STORY would you stop to listen?

Here is a lady disembarking from a matatu, she drops something unaware and a shabbily and dirty dressed boy picks it up.

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A Tragic cat's moment

====TRAGIC_CAT'S_MOMENT.====
The cat was so faithful that the woman could leave her baby with it & go out to attend other matters.
She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the cat faithfully watching over him.

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A A lesson from ATM 🏧 machine

Yesterday I was at the ATM to get some cash because I dearly needed money.

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A How to achieve goals

Set Goals First list down all the goals that you want to accomplish. If you are not sure what you want in life, you are just bound to receive the unexpected. Nevertheless, bear in mind that goals should always be sensible and should be accomplishable. Setting unrealistic goals are of no use. Write the most important goals at the top of the list and number them accordingly. This will help you to focus more precisely. You can strike off each goal once it is accomplished. Writing down your goals will also help you to realize your priorities. Develop Strategies To Achieve Goals Once you have listed your goals, you need to evaluate and develop strategies to complete your goals. For example, if your goal is to shed some extra pounds, your broad strategy should be dieting and exercises. Nothing can be achieved straightforwardly in life. So, you need a particular strategy and dedication to pull off your goals. Have Definite Action Plans Once your broad line of attack is determined, work on your definite action plans. For instance, if dieting and exercising are your broad strategies to your weight loss goal, then your action plan should consist of a healthy diet chart; a healthy way of life, and an appropriate workout routine. Believe In Yourself If you want to accomplish your goals and become successful in life, you have to believe in yourself. All successful men and women today are doing well because they believed in themselves and were confident about their capabilities. If you believe in yourself, then you can accomplish the goals you have set for yourself. Review Your Progress Make sure you are making progress. Review your progress every week to analyze how far you have reached in accomplishing your goals. If you find you are lagging behind, hire a coach, look for help from family and friends, and above all, try to recognize why your goal is not being met. Find a solution to accomplish your goal. Be Self Motivated Self motivation is a must to achieve goals and success in life. Motivational books and CDs are great ways to keep you motivated and will help you to stay focused towards your goals. The more self motivated you are, the easier it is to work towards your objectives.

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A THE MARKETING PLAN

Marketing plays a vital role in successful business ventures. How well you market you business, along with a few other considerations, will ultimately determine your degree of success or failure. The key element of a successful marketing plan is to know your customers — their likes, dislikes, expectations. By identifying these factors, you can develop a marketing strategy that will allow you to arouse and fulfill their needs.

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A Developing Business Ideas and Opportunities

You may have considered the prospect of starting your own business many times before. The thought of being your own boss – calling the shots, being responsible for your own financial rewards – is very alluring. You may have had the drive, the experience, and the financial resources necessary to succeed. The only thing stopping you were figuring out what type of business you should start.

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A The story of crime girl πŸ‘§

A lady committed a crime and she was sent to court. The punishment for the crime was life imprisonment. She shed tears for help but to no avail.

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A Heart touching story

<HEART TOUCHING STORY>
.
A boy and a girl Loved each other very much.
Unfortunately the Girl Died..
The Boy was So Upset and he couldn’t Stop his
Tears.
.
He kept on Crying Day and Night.. Many People
gave him Sympathy,
but no Argument could Stop His Tears.
.
One Night He Slept and had a Dream;
.
He saw the Girl in Heaven with so many Girls of
Her age.
He felt Relaxed.. But He Noticed that every Girl
was in Fairy Dress;
and had a Lightened Candle in their Hands, but
his GF had a Candle which was not.Lightened..!
.
He asked Her:
β€œWhy is Your Candle not Lightened?” She Replied:
β€œWhenever I lighten My Candle;
Your Tears fall on it..!
Please Stop Crying…
.
PRAYER !! !! !!
.
TODAY I PROPHECIES THAT YOU WILL NEVER
LOOSE ANYONE YOU LOVE ON EARTH
PREMATURELY.
.

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A Planning Concepts

Decentralization is highly linked with local government system and has been practiced in the country in varying degrees since colonial times. Historically, the concept of decentralization has never been a new concept in countries across the globe. The term attracted attention in the 1950s and 1960s when British and French colonial administrations prepared colonies for independence by devolving responsibilities programs to local authorities

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A Children speak their mind!!!

Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³

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A Understanding Agribusiness and Entrepreneurship study question

Many people confuse on the difference between agriculture and agribusiness. What is your opinion on that? What are the main factors that brought development in agribusiness in your coutry? (25 marks)

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A Best Funny quote of the day

πŸ‘‡Quote Of The Day ….
The last drop of urine doesn't obey the law of gravity unless u shake it well !!😎

- Isaac Newton's room mate.

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