A man 4gets to zip up his trousers , so a lady tells him politely, sir ur garage is open. The man gave her a naughty smile as he zips up and asks, Did u see my BLACK RANGE ROVER SPORT parked inside? . The lady smiles back and says no just one small Toyota vitz with two Flat tyresβ€š --Pls dont laugh alone send to ur gud naughty friends….

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πŸ“° Recommended PostsπŸ‘‡

πŸ“Œ Clear explanation of Planning

Planning means looking ahead and checking out future course of action to be followed. It is a preparatory step. Planning is a detailed programme regarding future course of action. It determines on when, how and who is going to perform a specific task

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πŸ“Œ Just a notice to you

‘``1. πŸ‘‰No matter how beautiful and handsome you’re just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

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πŸ“Œ Interesting story for new year

Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.

After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.

Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.

One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.

He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.

So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"

The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"

Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"

The Manager told Thomas,

"I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!"

So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:

"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.

The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.

He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.

He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.

The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.

He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.

We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.

This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.

I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."

Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra.
He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra.

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πŸ“Œ The will to win

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

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πŸ“Œ A letter from an aborted child

A LETTER FROM AN ABORTED CHILD
Dear Mum,
I have decided to talk to you to let you know my
feelings. I want to know why you did it. My story
is short. I stayed inside you for only a couple of
weeks. I was very comfortable and warm. I felt
really protected. I knew you were a special
person because you never stopped me from
eating the food you ate. I longed for the day I
would see your face. Nine months was a long
time to wait, but I was determined to wait. I had
to be patient.
A man then offered you some amount of money to
get rid of me. I was happy and prayed that this
meant that I would at least see you, the only
person that I knew in the world. I was wrong. I had
almost forgotten the issues until I felt something
sharp pierce my tiny ear. I jerked silently and in
pain, and asked you to protect me. Seconds later
the object came,fiercer than before. My tiny body
was cut up, starting from the ears then arms and
legs. It was an agonizing experience. My head was
then cut off and I died.
It took me a whole hour to die. A whole hour for
an innocent few weeks human being to be
murdered by you! I remember the whole incident
vividly and I keep asking myself what I did to
deserve that cruel death. Why me? Why did you
do that to me? And why was I not given a
chance to live just like they children you hear
playing around? How do you feel when you send
some of them on errands when I could have done
that with pride if you had given me the chance to
live? Don't you see the beauty in playing with a
child that calls you mom with a sweet soft voice?
I know you are having a lot of nightmares. You
remain guilty for the beastly act. Please explain
to God why you committed the heinous act. He
sent me to you as a very special gift. My purpose
was to make you proud by being the great
person God meant me to be. I have forgiven you
though I never lived to see your face. My journey
back to my creator was safe, and I arrived
safely. I was given a red-carpet welcome by an
angel. I am in fact without bitterness. I still love
you, mum.
Yours Never-seen child.
If you are touched, join the "STOP ABORTION"
campaign by sharing this post with your friends.
…. STOP ABORTION !!!.

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πŸ“Œ The Blessings of disappointment

I was pondering about life, I discovered that: Sometimes, to succeed in life you need ENEMIES…. Yes!!!

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πŸ“Œ Be careful

You have been single throughout the year, and two weeks to Christmas you fall in love

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πŸ“Œ See how this man reacts!

A man went for HIV test on Saturday and they told him tocome back on Monday to pic his results.On sunday he went to church and the pastor was praying and said "… may the things that you'll receive as from tomorrow be positive …"The man quickly opened his eyes and shouted "Acha ujinga weweeee!!"

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰See how this man reacts!βœ”

πŸ“Œ Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

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πŸ“Œ Where will this corruption end?

School Group Photo : Headmaster to Photographer ksh.20 is too much. There are 2000 students, Charge Only ksh.10 its sufficient!!

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πŸ“Œ How to make people think in your way

Show respect for the others persons opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically. Begin in a friendly way. Get the other person saying Yes, yes immediately. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Let the other person feel that the idea is his. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. Appeal to nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰How to make people think in your wayβœ”

πŸ“Œ BUSINESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

Managing a business requires more than just the desire to be your own boss. It demands dedication, persistence, the ability to make decisions and the ability to manage both employees and finances. Your management plan, along with your marketing and financial management plans, sets the foundation for and facilitates the success of your business.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰BUSINESS MANAGEMENT PLANβœ”

πŸ“Œ Plane crush

PLANE CRUSH:

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πŸ“° Recent PostsπŸ‘‡

A Later of stoping job

LETA OF STOPING JOB.
Dear bhosi
I ryt this leta to refuz job as gardenboy. Enafu is enafu! Yu didi not add money from long ago. U giv mi young money witch can only by 5 pakets of shuga. Very moon yu giv envilope, I open only to c young money inside. One de I weo ap let bcoz I was seek, madam kik me lyk soka. My board was hate lyk I waz bitten 619 race-ling. This is ova, am also a woman beeing.

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A Be aware of this trick

A lady's handbag contained her cell phone, ATM card etc was stolen.
_Thirty minutes later she managed to call her husband from her friend's telephone, telling him what happened._

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A How to be charismatic

Relax Your Way To The Top If you are looking to be charismatic, then the first and foremost thing that you have to do is to actually learn to relax. Some people try too hard to be charismatic, but only end up making a fool of themselves. This is not something that you would want to do. So, in order to work on your charisma, learn from the mistakes of others and relax. When you master the art of relaxing in a social setting, you automatically exude charisma. It's a known fact that people love to be around people who are calm and composed. Learn to channelize peace and tranquility to everyone you know and meet. This will help you seem extremely calm and a lot more attractive. With a personality of this sort, apart from wanting to be with you, people may even aspire to be like you. Confidence Concerns While being confident can be easily mistaken for being charismatic, there is a very distinct difference between being confident and being charismatic. Charisma is that quality that makes you seem like you have an extremely attractive personality, and confidence is that quality that adds to your charisma. Appearing confident can make you seem extremely charismatic, because your confidence apart from acting like a magnet will also help put the others around you at ease and create in them a desire to be around you. Here, however, you will have to take a lot of care to stay away from going overboard, because while confidence is one thing, overconfidence is a different thing altogether and it's that one quality that no one can really be fond of. Dish Out Attention In order to seem charismatic, it is important to listen and pay attention. When you manage to do this your charisma quotient automatically reaches new heights. You can pull off attention tactics by simply listening to what people have to tell you and talk as less as possible. However, when you actually do talk, make sure you talk sense and make sure the words that are coming out of your mouth are the kind of words that the other person would want to listen to. Make it a point to smile while you are talking. This will help add quite a lot of appeal to your personality. Be Considerate You are truly a considerate person when you treat others around you just the way you would want to be treated. You wouldn't want to be discriminated against under any grounds, so then there is no reason why you should treat one person differently from the other. Exercise this behavior pattern in your day-to-day life and watch how people are attracted to you like bees are to honey.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰How to be charismaticβœ”

A The will to win

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰The will to winβœ”

A Just a notice to you

‘``1. πŸ‘‰No matter how beautiful and handsome you’re just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Just a notice to youβœ”

A How to write Business Description

1. Legalities - business form: proprietorship, partnership, and corporation. The licenses or permits you will need.
2. Business type: merchandizing, manufacturing or service.
3. What your product or service is.
4. Is it a new independent business, a takeover, an expansion, a franchise?
5. Why your business will be profitable. What are the growth opportunities? Will franchising impact on growth opportunities?
6. When your business will be open (days, hours)?
7. What you have learned about your kind of business from outside sources (trade suppliers, bankers, other franchise owners, franchiser, publications).
A cover sheet goes before the description. It includes the name, address and telephone number of the business and the names of all principals. In the description of your business, describe the unique aspects and how or why they will appeal to consumers. Emphasize any special features that you feel will appeal to customers and explain how and why these features are appealing.

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A Children speak their mind!!!

Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when I was born.
Logic!!πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜³

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A Remember this things in your life

3 things in life that never come back when gone:
-⌚Time
-πŸ‘…Words
-πŸ’ŽOpportunity

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A Lol πŸ˜‚ X-Mass is Jesus Birthday 🎊 not yours

Girl: Boo Xmas is approaching.
Boy: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait.
Girl: Get me a Tablet for Xmas.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Paracetamol or Vitamin C?
Girl: I mean Samsung Tablet baby
Boy: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours!

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Lol πŸ˜‚ X-Mass is Jesus Birthday 🎊 not yoursβœ”

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