Girl: Boo Xmas is approaching.
Boy: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait.
Girl: Get me a Tablet for Xmas.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Paracetamol or Vitamin C?
Girl: I mean Samsung Tablet baby
Boy: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours!

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

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πŸ“° Recommended PostsπŸ‘‡

πŸ“Œ Be aware of this trick

A lady's handbag contained her cell phone, ATM card etc was stolen.
_Thirty minutes later she managed to call her husband from her friend's telephone, telling him what happened._

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πŸ“Œ 2017 Tips for good health

If all you do in 2017 is make the right choice or the best choice possible I guarantee you will succeed!
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Choose the salad over the double cheese burger!
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Choose going to the gym over sitting down and relaxing and watching mindless TV!
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Choose Working on your business idea instead of hanging out with mates and drinking too much on the weekends.
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Choose saving your money instead of spending it on useless things you don't even really want!
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Invest your time on your own personal development & growth instead of wasting your time on entertainment!
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Choose to spend your time in inspiring environments rather than places or with people who don't move you closer to your dreams!
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Choose to speak well and dress well rather than trying to be cool and hip!
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Choose to make those 10 extra sales calls after 5pm rather than just leaving as soon at it hits 5pm!
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Choose to get to bed a little earlier so you can wake up and start your day before 5am!
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It all starts with YOU being aware of your own self and your objectives & goals!
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Being conscience of your own self and your every decision and choice is the key to success in life and if 2017 is going to be your year, YOU are going to have to be totally aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions…100% of the time!
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It is no longer acceptable to get through the day mindlessly and expect things to change….they won't change if you keep running the same patterns that got you into this mess in the first place!
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You need to be aware 100% of the time of your thought, feelings, actions and your goals and outcomes so you can start making choices that move you towards your greatest victory in 2017 and beyond!

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πŸ“Œ How to bring people around you

Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Let the other man save his face. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

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πŸ“Œ Just a notice to you

‘``1. πŸ‘‰No matter how beautiful and handsome you’re just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

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πŸ“Œ How do you forget?

How do you forget ?
The same qualifications you have, diploma, degree, masters, PhD that which gave you that job you have , are the same qualifications that your friends have too , but they don't have the job you have. How do you forget ?
The same pastor who officiated your marriage and blessed it, today you have even children is the same pastor who officiated and blessed even your friend's marriages but they don't have children and eventually divorced . How do you forget ?
The same prayer you offered to God and God answered you is the same prayer that your friends have been praying, but up to now they haven't recieved any answer and still praying , How do you forget ?
The same road you use to travel to places and safely you reach home, is the same road that many people have died on, How do you forget ?
The same church you go to worship God to and God has blessed you, is the same church that your friend goes to worship God too, but up to now his life is still miserable, How do you forget ?
The same bed you used in the hospital and you got healed is the same bed that your friends used too but they died in there ,* **How do you forget ?
The same voice you have and you can sing songs, you can preach, you can *talk* and so on, is the *same voice* that your friends also had but eventually *stopped singing , preaching* because they had cancer of throat, *How do you forget ?*
The *same rain* that made your *field to produce good crops* and you had bumper harvest is the *same rain* that *destroyed* your friend's fields, How do you forget ? At this end of the year Come back to your God and thank Him for his kindness.
Whatever you have , is not by your power, nor your intelligence, nor your qualifications but the Grace of God
Have a wonderful new year 2017,
Be blessed In Jesus Name !

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πŸ“Œ Best Funny quote of the day

πŸ‘‡Quote Of The Day ….
The last drop of urine doesn't obey the law of gravity unless u shake it well !!😎

- Isaac Newton's room mate.

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πŸ“Œ How to calm down

Breathe Deeply Though it is an old and repeated technique, nevertheless it really works well. Comfort yourself in a relaxing position and take a deep breath. Hold your breath and start releasing slowly. As your breath leaves you, assume as though you are breathing out fire. To feel the fire exiting from within you, place your hand underneath your nose. Exercise Exercising is, indeed, the best technique for calming down. Move out and indulge yourself into vigorous aerobic exercises for a longer duration than normal to release the pain and anger within you. Also, you can take up running as all it matters is finishing the run rather than worrying about the reasons for your stress. Push yourself against the barbell or the fitness equipment. This would help your mind to focus on nothing else, but finishing the exercise. Close Your Eyes Gently close your eyes and retreat from the present world going deeper and deeper. Let those drops moisten your eyelids helping you regain your equilibrium. You will gradually get back your balance and proper focus. Move Outdoors Whenever you are in an agitated mood, give yourself an hour to indulge into the beauty of the nature. Whether you are angry, opinionated, cynical or uptight, you will soon return home as a relaxed person. Engage yourself into some activities, say walking, biking, running or swimming, in order to clam yourself down. Find Your Way To Water All you guys, who had assumed water to be only a thirst quencher, think again! The various healing and mood effects of water can do wonders to calm you quickly. So, the next time whenever you are over aroused, drink a big glass of water every hour. Besides, you can take a walk along the water, take a look at it or listen to it. If possible, throw yourself into it by going for a bath or swim. Step Back Take a step back and observe the world that you are living in. Lift your head up and look at the stars in the sky. Realize the number of stars filled with many planets just like one of ours. Compare your problem with one of those twinkling stars? Probably, it is just a fight between two ants. In the event of so many serious problems, yours would not seem as a big deal. All it requires is some framing of things and events here and there. And voila! You'll have the solution to your problem in a few moments

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πŸ“Œ Self improvement of ideas

Meditation gives you that inner peace like nothing else can. Initially, it is a little hard to concentrate and there will be plenty of distractions. Let these distractions be a part of the learning process. After some time, you will notice that all negativity will be removed and you become happier. Sleep gives you a sense of calm and freshness when you wake up. But, try a reverse approach. Wake up about 30minutes earlier than normal and see how many more things you can do. Extra time gives you that extra edge to better yourself. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown! So you know what you should be doing. Smiles make such a big difference, and when someone around you is happy, it sends out positive vibes. Accept compliments with a smile and thank people for them. Be kind to yourself and everyone will do the same. Principles are important in a school, college, at work and at home. They are equally important in you. Principles must be set in a realistic way. It can be as simple as not wasting food or as complex as saving paper. Rules are not meant to be broken. So if you keep your principles on, you've obviously becoming a better person. Have complaints about everything? Stop this. It is an extremely irritating habit. Stay around people who don't give you a chance to give in to complaints, distract yourself and send out good signals which will increase your people power. Find a mentor or a role model who you'd like to be like. You don't have to become this person mentally and physically, you could implement their way of life into yours. Setting goals is what differentiates a person with good behavioral and mental skills compared to one that has no aim in life. Remove unwanted people and things from your life. You are better without them. Go to your room, remove all unwanted letters, posters and make more space for new things. If someone has been bothering you, cut him/her from your life for a while. Lay low till you think you can deal with them. It's about how you feel. Now, you will have a clear and creative mind for the new things to come. Television is for the utterly bored! It is junk for the mind and body. If you feel like you need entertainment desperately, then watch something educative for about 30 minutes or so but don't drown in the idiot box.

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πŸ“Œ How to be charismatic

Relax Your Way To The Top If you are looking to be charismatic, then the first and foremost thing that you have to do is to actually learn to relax. Some people try too hard to be charismatic, but only end up making a fool of themselves. This is not something that you would want to do. So, in order to work on your charisma, learn from the mistakes of others and relax. When you master the art of relaxing in a social setting, you automatically exude charisma. It's a known fact that people love to be around people who are calm and composed. Learn to channelize peace and tranquility to everyone you know and meet. This will help you seem extremely calm and a lot more attractive. With a personality of this sort, apart from wanting to be with you, people may even aspire to be like you. Confidence Concerns While being confident can be easily mistaken for being charismatic, there is a very distinct difference between being confident and being charismatic. Charisma is that quality that makes you seem like you have an extremely attractive personality, and confidence is that quality that adds to your charisma. Appearing confident can make you seem extremely charismatic, because your confidence apart from acting like a magnet will also help put the others around you at ease and create in them a desire to be around you. Here, however, you will have to take a lot of care to stay away from going overboard, because while confidence is one thing, overconfidence is a different thing altogether and it's that one quality that no one can really be fond of. Dish Out Attention In order to seem charismatic, it is important to listen and pay attention. When you manage to do this your charisma quotient automatically reaches new heights. You can pull off attention tactics by simply listening to what people have to tell you and talk as less as possible. However, when you actually do talk, make sure you talk sense and make sure the words that are coming out of your mouth are the kind of words that the other person would want to listen to. Make it a point to smile while you are talking. This will help add quite a lot of appeal to your personality. Be Considerate You are truly a considerate person when you treat others around you just the way you would want to be treated. You wouldn't want to be discriminated against under any grounds, so then there is no reason why you should treat one person differently from the other. Exercise this behavior pattern in your day-to-day life and watch how people are attracted to you like bees are to honey.

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πŸ“Œ STORY Be that kind of woman

Sometime ago, a man went with his wife in their car to a fuel station, while they were buying the fuel, the man discovered that it was the wife's ex boyfriend that is attending to them, He then smiled and turned to his wife and said, "you would have ended up marrying that petrol attendant", but the wife smiled and said, "if I had married him, He will be the one sitting by the steering of the car"

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πŸ“Œ Tragic cat's moment

====TRAGIC_CAT'S_MOMENT.====
The cat was so faithful that the woman could leave her baby with it & go out to attend other matters.
She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the cat faithfully watching over him.

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πŸ“° Recent PostsπŸ‘‡

A Something to read before breakfast

**No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS.

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A Change your thinking reach your goals and dreams

We can"t change our lives while we are not thinking in the right way

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A Understand Advent

1. What Is the Purpose of Advent?

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A Planning Concepts

Decentralization is highly linked with local government system and has been practiced in the country in varying degrees since colonial times. Historically, the concept of decentralization has never been a new concept in countries across the globe. The term attracted attention in the 1950s and 1960s when British and French colonial administrations prepared colonies for independence by devolving responsibilities programs to local authorities

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A How do you forget?

How do you forget ?
The same qualifications you have, diploma, degree, masters, PhD that which gave you that job you have , are the same qualifications that your friends have too , but they don't have the job you have. How do you forget ?
The same pastor who officiated your marriage and blessed it, today you have even children is the same pastor who officiated and blessed even your friend's marriages but they don't have children and eventually divorced . How do you forget ?
The same prayer you offered to God and God answered you is the same prayer that your friends have been praying, but up to now they haven't recieved any answer and still praying , How do you forget ?
The same road you use to travel to places and safely you reach home, is the same road that many people have died on, How do you forget ?
The same church you go to worship God to and God has blessed you, is the same church that your friend goes to worship God too, but up to now his life is still miserable, How do you forget ?
The same bed you used in the hospital and you got healed is the same bed that your friends used too but they died in there ,* **How do you forget ?
The same voice you have and you can sing songs, you can preach, you can *talk* and so on, is the *same voice* that your friends also had but eventually *stopped singing , preaching* because they had cancer of throat, *How do you forget ?*
The *same rain* that made your *field to produce good crops* and you had bumper harvest is the *same rain* that *destroyed* your friend's fields, How do you forget ? At this end of the year Come back to your God and thank Him for his kindness.
Whatever you have , is not by your power, nor your intelligence, nor your qualifications but the Grace of God
Have a wonderful new year 2017,
Be blessed In Jesus Name !

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A Entrepreneurial Characteristics

It is clear that the definitions of the 'entrepreneur' are not similar. However, there are certain qualities and/or functions which explicitly or implicitly, feature in most of them. Each definition contains similar notions, such as newness/value, organizing, creating wealth, and risk taking, despite viewing the entrepreneur from a slightly different perspective. Failing to agree on a single definition, entrepreneurship specialists have resorted to drawing up lists of qualities and/or functions which typify the entrepreneur. Invariably, these lists include a combination of characteristics: People with entrepreneurial qualities and skills tend to enjoy the challenges, the hard work and the success of self-employment.

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A Understanding Agribusiness and Entrepreneurship study question

Many people confuse on the difference between agriculture and agribusiness. What is your opinion on that? What are the main factors that brought development in agribusiness in your coutry? (25 marks)

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A Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

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A The scientific death of Jesus Christ

THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You're doing and take this opportunity! To share this

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A BUSINESS PLAN

The process of putting together a business plan, including the thought you put in before beginning to write it, forces you to take an objective, critical, unemotional look at your business project in its entirety. The business plan is an operating tool, which, if properly used, will help you manage the business and work effectively towards its success.

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A Difference of men and women at their age

Women are fickle minded.At 18, they want handsome men.At 25, they want matured men.At 30, they want successful men.At 40, they want established men.At 50 ,they want faithful men.

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A I hope everybody will reflect on this

1. If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!" Remember your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you, are they marrying spirits? Wise up!

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