I WANT TO BE A TV

A Primary School teacher asks her pupils to write an essay on ”What wish do you want from God?" At the end of the day, the teacher collects all the essays given by her pupils. She takes them to her house, sits and starts marking them.

While marking the essays, the teacher sees a strange essay written by one of her pupils. That essay made her very emotional. Her husband comes and sits beside her and saw her crying. The husband asked his wife, "What happened?"

She answered "Read this. It is one of my pupil's essays."

"Oh God, Make me a Television. I want to live like the TV in my house.

In my house, the TV is very valuable. All of my family members sit around it. They are very interested in it. When the TV is talking, my parents listen to it very happily.

They don’t shout at the TV. They don’t quarrel with the TV. They don’t slap at the TV. So I want to become a TV.

The TV is the centre of attraction in my house. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives from my parents. Even when it is not working, the TV has a lot of value.

When my dad and mom come home, immediately they sit in front of the TV, switch on it and spend hours. The TV is stealing the time of my dad and my mom. If I become a TV, then they will spend their time with me.

While watching the TV, my parents laugh a lot and they smile many times. But I want my parents should laugh and smile with me also. So please make me into a TV.

And last but not least, if I become a TV, surely I can make my parents happy and entertain them. Lord I don't ask you anything. I just want to live like a TV. Please make me into a TV.

The husband completed reading the essay. He said "My God, poor kid. He feels loneliness. He did not receive enough love and care from his parents. His parents are horrible."

The eyes of the primary School teacher filled with tears. She looked at her husband and said, "Our son wrote this essay."
Copy and paste

.

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πŸ“Œ Dress proper ladies

Two young ladies arrived in a Meeting wearing clothes that were quite revealing their body parts. Here is what the Chairman told them: He took a good look at them and made them sit. Then he said something that, they might never forget in their life. He looked at them straight in the eyes and said; "ladies, everything that God mande valuable in this world is well covered and hardly to see, find or get.

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πŸ“Œ How to calm down

Breathe Deeply Though it is an old and repeated technique, nevertheless it really works well. Comfort yourself in a relaxing position and take a deep breath. Hold your breath and start releasing slowly. As your breath leaves you, assume as though you are breathing out fire. To feel the fire exiting from within you, place your hand underneath your nose. Exercise Exercising is, indeed, the best technique for calming down. Move out and indulge yourself into vigorous aerobic exercises for a longer duration than normal to release the pain and anger within you. Also, you can take up running as all it matters is finishing the run rather than worrying about the reasons for your stress. Push yourself against the barbell or the fitness equipment. This would help your mind to focus on nothing else, but finishing the exercise. Close Your Eyes Gently close your eyes and retreat from the present world going deeper and deeper. Let those drops moisten your eyelids helping you regain your equilibrium. You will gradually get back your balance and proper focus. Move Outdoors Whenever you are in an agitated mood, give yourself an hour to indulge into the beauty of the nature. Whether you are angry, opinionated, cynical or uptight, you will soon return home as a relaxed person. Engage yourself into some activities, say walking, biking, running or swimming, in order to clam yourself down. Find Your Way To Water All you guys, who had assumed water to be only a thirst quencher, think again! The various healing and mood effects of water can do wonders to calm you quickly. So, the next time whenever you are over aroused, drink a big glass of water every hour. Besides, you can take a walk along the water, take a look at it or listen to it. If possible, throw yourself into it by going for a bath or swim. Step Back Take a step back and observe the world that you are living in. Lift your head up and look at the stars in the sky. Realize the number of stars filled with many planets just like one of ours. Compare your problem with one of those twinkling stars? Probably, it is just a fight between two ants. In the event of so many serious problems, yours would not seem as a big deal. All it requires is some framing of things and events here and there. And voila! You'll have the solution to your problem in a few moments

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πŸ“Œ Funny mathematics paper

MATHEMATICS,PAPER 1 P299/2
Time:2:30mins
Instruction: Attempt any four
questions.
ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
1. You have dated a girl for two years and eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted (20 marks).
2. You buy airtime for your girlfriend and she calls another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive the general formula for this kind of love (20 marks).
3. You are dating four girls simultaneously, and each of these girls is demanding a Samsung Galaxy S5 and an Ipad 3 from you.
(a) Plot a graph of girls against the prices of these phones(15 marks).
(b) Using data from your graph, state the estimates of your future poverty (5 marks).
4. You are dating other people's sisters, but you don't want to see any guy with any of your sisters. Calculate the percentage error in your thinking capacity, given that you have 4 sisters and 3 girlfriends. Take Pi = 3.14 (20 marks).

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πŸ“Œ 2017 Tips for good health

If all you do in 2017 is make the right choice or the best choice possible I guarantee you will succeed!
β€’
Choose the salad over the double cheese burger!
β€’
Choose going to the gym over sitting down and relaxing and watching mindless TV!
β€’
Choose Working on your business idea instead of hanging out with mates and drinking too much on the weekends.
β€’
Choose saving your money instead of spending it on useless things you don't even really want!
β€’
Invest your time on your own personal development & growth instead of wasting your time on entertainment!
β€’
Choose to spend your time in inspiring environments rather than places or with people who don't move you closer to your dreams!
β€’
Choose to speak well and dress well rather than trying to be cool and hip!
β€’
Choose to make those 10 extra sales calls after 5pm rather than just leaving as soon at it hits 5pm!
β€’
Choose to get to bed a little earlier so you can wake up and start your day before 5am!
β€’
It all starts with YOU being aware of your own self and your objectives & goals!
β€’
Being conscience of your own self and your every decision and choice is the key to success in life and if 2017 is going to be your year, YOU are going to have to be totally aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions…100% of the time!
β€’
It is no longer acceptable to get through the day mindlessly and expect things to change….they won't change if you keep running the same patterns that got you into this mess in the first place!
β€’
You need to be aware 100% of the time of your thought, feelings, actions and your goals and outcomes so you can start making choices that move you towards your greatest victory in 2017 and beyond!

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πŸ“Œ Difference of men and women at their age

Women are fickle minded.At 18, they want handsome men.At 25, they want matured men.At 30, they want successful men.At 40, they want established men.At 50 ,they want faithful men.

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πŸ“Œ Just a notice to you

‘``1. πŸ‘‰No matter how beautiful and handsome you’re just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

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πŸ“Œ The story of crime girl πŸ‘§

A lady committed a crime and she was sent to court. The punishment for the crime was life imprisonment. She shed tears for help but to no avail.

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πŸ“Œ Clear explanation of Planning

Planning means looking ahead and checking out future course of action to be followed. It is a preparatory step. Planning is a detailed programme regarding future course of action. It determines on when, how and who is going to perform a specific task

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πŸ“Œ STORY: Do not ignore everything

A young man was
getting ready to
graduate from
college. For many
months he had
admired a beautiful
sports car in a
dealers showroom,
and knowing his
father could well
afford it, he told him
that was all he
wanted.
As Graduation Day
approached, the
young man awaited
signs that his
father had purchased
the car. Finally, on
the morning of his
graduation, his father
called him into his
private study, told
him how proud he
was to have such a
fine son, and how
much he loved him.
He handed him a
beautifully wrapped
gift box.
Curious, but
somewhat
disappointed, the
young man opened
the box and
found a lovely,
leather-bound Bible,
with his name
embossed
in gold.
Angrily, he raised his
voice to his father
and said,"With all
your money you give
me a Bible?" He
stormed out of the
house, leaving the
Bible behind.
Many years passed
and the young man
was very successful in
business. He had a
beautiful home and
wonderful family, but
realized his father
was very old. He
thought perhaps he
should go to him.He
had not seen him
since that graduation
day.
But before he could
make arrangements,
he received a
telegram telling him
his father had passed
away, and willed all
of his possessions to
him. He needed to
come home
immediately and take
care of things.
When he arrived at
his father's house,
sadness and regret
filled his heart. He
began to search
through his father's
important documents
and saw the Bible,
new,just as he had
left it years ago.
With tears, he
opened the Bible and
began to turn the
pages. His father had
carefully underlined a
verse, Matt 7:11,
"And if ye, being evil,
know
how to give good
gifts to your children,
how much more shall
your Heavenly Father
which is in Heaven,
give to those who ask
Him?"
As he read those
words, a car key
dropped from the
back of the Bible.It
had a tag with the
dealers name, the
same dealer who had
the sports car he had
desired.
On the tag was the
date of his
graduation, and the
words…
PAID IN FULL.
How many times do
we miss God's
blessings because
they are not
packaged as we
expected?

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πŸ“Œ Facts of Life

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

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πŸ“Œ STORY: Keep my shirt clean

Two guys were drinking in a bar.
As they were drinking, they started arguing, one guy pounce on his friend and started
beating him.
.
After a long beating he realised that his friend was no longer breathing, he already died instantly.
Then the guy started running with his
shirt full of blood.Those who were
watching the fight started chasing him.
.
He ran to the house of a Christian man, knocked and said,
"Can u please hide me, i have killed a person and people are chasing me."
.
The Christian man replied ,
"Where am i going to hide you in my one room
apartment?"
The muderer said "There is no time to
waste here, just think of anywhere you
can hide me."
.
After a long thinking, the Christian man
said to the murderer,
"Give me your shirt and take my shirt but remember to keep my shirt clean"
They exchanged their shirts.Then as
soon as the Christian man opened the
door, people started beating him and
was badly injured that he was taken to
the police station.
From police station, the case was taken
to court and the man was found guilty of
murder and was sentenced to death.
.
The real murderer was safe at home but
was feeling so guilty that he ran to the
Court and said,
"Can you please release that innocent man, am the real murderer".
.
The judge replied "unfortunately it's too
late, the man is already hanged at last".
He ran to the police where the man was
hanged and for sure he
found him dead hanging.
.
He knelt down and cried his eyes out and said to himself, " You paid for my crime"
He remembered the Christian's last
words:
"KEEP MY SHIRT CLEAN !!!"
That's how the murderer repented and
became a christian!
.
MORAL OF THE STORY ;
This is what Jesus did for us. He died for
the crime he did not commit on the cross of Calvary.
Now if you are thankful with what Jesus
did for you, Appreciate Him by just sharing
πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»πŸ’’πŸ™πŸ»πŸ™πŸ»

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A A lesson from ATM 🏧 machine

Yesterday I was at the ATM to get some cash because I dearly needed money.

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A How to develop your personality

Each person is unique: Remember that each individual is different and has his or her unique characteristics and qualities. Comparing yourself with others around only increases the distress, especially when you start focusing on where you are lacking compared to others. It is important that you channelize your energy towards your positive traits. Do not get swayed by media portrayals: Media portrays people in its own idiosyncratic ways. It does not mean what or how you should be. Personality matters, not looks alone: It is not just looks that are important and that define who you are. Personality defines who you are and how you respond in various situations. It is essential to focus on the personality, which matters the most. Learn social skills: Just looking good will never be sufficient to take you forward in life or help you in your relationships with people. Instead, hone your social skills. The more success one has in social spheres of life, the better you would feel about yourself. Have a healthy lifestyle: Life is a balancing act. Learning to balance different aspects of life is integral to a wholesome life. Have a good, balanced diet and exercise. Do not avoid social interactions: Just because you feel you aren't good-looking, do not avoid meeting people. The more you shun social interaction, the worse you would feel about yourself. Know your positives: If every individual has his or her limitations, then he or she also has positives. These positive are what you need to concentrate on. Know your strengths. Acknowledge them and work with them. Get healthy peer support: Peers are an important part of your support system. Having peers who are supportive can contribute to our understanding of situations, giving alternative perspectives. Talk to parents and friends: The difficulties you might face in evaluating yourself in a positive light can be taken care of by talking to family and friends. Develop media literacy skills: Learn to see messages in the media in a dispassionate manner. Try and develop this skill so that you are able to integrate what the media shows in a realistic manner. Everyone has their notion of how people should look and dress, etc… All these diverse perceptions can lead individuals to believe that they need to be a particular way, and if not, then it implies something negative about them. This can frequently affect one's moods and behaviour. Know Yourself: The first step on your quest to develop your personality is to know yourself. It is very important to know yourself in order to figure out what needs to be done to modify your existing personality. Knowing yourself is not about knowing your favorite color, food and etc. It is about knowing your limitations and plus points. You must be aware of your abilities so that you can use them when the time comes. You need to analyze yourself and find out what is it that you lacking in. Are you short tempered or do you panic easily or is that you can't speak in a group. Find out and then accordingly we can work on your personality. Comparison: You need to accept one thing that you cannot be best at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. You are different from others; you have your own set of talents and abilities. Just because there is someone around who is great at a think you are not good at does not mean he is better than you. There will be things that he cannot do but you can. No one is perfect in this world. So never compare yourself to others. It does more harm than good. Love yourself and you will definitely achieve a better personality. Courteous: Personality as I said is not just about how you look. It is how you present yourself. It is how you impress others. An expressionless and monotonous tone will get you nowhere. You need to have an attitude that is pleasing so that you are welcomed wherever you go. Be courteous and humble. Greet your juniors with a smile and reply back to their greetings. At times have lunch together or offer your lunch to them. Be available for your people and you will become dependable for them. This is a remarkable trait for your personality. Mannerism weighs a lot in the professional world. Body Language: Having a personality takes into account everything. Not just the way you dress up and talk but also your body language. How you walk, sit , eat , how you behave when others are talking etc make a huge impact on others. Your body language is therefore a very important is very aspect of your personality. Have a relaxed posture. Walk upright do not droop or be extra rigid. When others in a group are talking have a relaxed tone. Do not get involved with the surroundings but pay attention to the speaker. If he is talking to you have a calm eye contact and not staring or distracted. Have a good body language that shows that you are confident. Physique: The easiest way to achieve a good personality is to have a good physique. It cannot be denied that a good physique is very important. It is a very important part of your personality. Your physique not only sets an impression but it speaks a lot about you. A good physique says that you are a well planned person. You think about yourself and about your health. It also gives a perception that you are away from bad habits and company. It really says a lot about you. So start exercising and stay fit to develop your personality. Speech: A very vital part of any personality development program is to help you speak better. By speaking better I do not mean using big words and giving speeches. The words you use are very important. Have a decent and simple manner of speaking. Use a language that is understood by all. Now a day's English has the top priority. If you do not have grips over this language enroll yourself with some coaching class. When you speak in a group see to it that your words are not offending or agitating. When to speak is more important than what to speak. So take care of your speech as much as you can. Appreciate: A great personality knows how to impress and make an impact. In the professional world where you work or stay in a group; to be accepted by others is very important. All the pain of building a personality is to be accepted so that we can move on and work in a better way. Develop a habit of appreciating your mates no matter how small the work is. Although take care that you are not being fake. Appreciating others makes you a very friendly person. You also motivate your mates and that makes you a better employee as well. Thus a simple habit of appreciating helps you develop your personality by making you a little selfless. Attire: Yes personality is not all about dressing up but the way you dress does have an impact on your personality. So even if not the most important you attire is definitely one of the most important aspect of your personality. Dress up in a decent manner. Be professional and avoid flashy colors. Avoid unnecessary piercing on your body or tattoos. Wear neatly ironed and unstained clothes. Look pro essional or according to the environment of your working place. It is very important to develop your personality to have a great sense of dressing. Confidence: I will definitely say that this is the most important thing to be achieved to obtain a better personality. You have to be confident with whatever you do. Your confidence says that you know about your work and you are well aware of your abilities. If you shy of speaking in public then you have to start speaking as having confidence is very important. 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A How to calm down

Breathe Deeply Though it is an old and repeated technique, nevertheless it really works well. Comfort yourself in a relaxing position and take a deep breath. Hold your breath and start releasing slowly. As your breath leaves you, assume as though you are breathing out fire. To feel the fire exiting from within you, place your hand underneath your nose. Exercise Exercising is, indeed, the best technique for calming down. Move out and indulge yourself into vigorous aerobic exercises for a longer duration than normal to release the pain and anger within you. Also, you can take up running as all it matters is finishing the run rather than worrying about the reasons for your stress. Push yourself against the barbell or the fitness equipment. This would help your mind to focus on nothing else, but finishing the exercise. Close Your Eyes Gently close your eyes and retreat from the present world going deeper and deeper. Let those drops moisten your eyelids helping you regain your equilibrium. You will gradually get back your balance and proper focus. Move Outdoors Whenever you are in an agitated mood, give yourself an hour to indulge into the beauty of the nature. Whether you are angry, opinionated, cynical or uptight, you will soon return home as a relaxed person. Engage yourself into some activities, say walking, biking, running or swimming, in order to clam yourself down. Find Your Way To Water All you guys, who had assumed water to be only a thirst quencher, think again! The various healing and mood effects of water can do wonders to calm you quickly. So, the next time whenever you are over aroused, drink a big glass of water every hour. Besides, you can take a walk along the water, take a look at it or listen to it. If possible, throw yourself into it by going for a bath or swim. Step Back Take a step back and observe the world that you are living in. Lift your head up and look at the stars in the sky. Realize the number of stars filled with many planets just like one of ours. Compare your problem with one of those twinkling stars? Probably, it is just a fight between two ants. In the event of so many serious problems, yours would not seem as a big deal. All it requires is some framing of things and events here and there. And voila! You'll have the solution to your problem in a few moments

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰How to calm downβœ”

A The scientific death of Jesus Christ

THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You're doing and take this opportunity! To share this

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A Clear explanation of Planning

Planning means looking ahead and checking out future course of action to be followed. It is a preparatory step. Planning is a detailed programme regarding future course of action. It determines on when, how and who is going to perform a specific task

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A Where you wait for the bus 🚌 doesn't matter but your relationship with driver does

There's an old story of the boy who stood on a sidewalk, waiting for a bus. A man walking by spotted the boy and gave him some gentle instruction. "Son," he said, "if you're waiting for the bus you need to move to the street corner. That's where the bus stops for passengers."

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A How to make people like you

Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Arouse in the other person an eager want. Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other mans interest. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

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A Tragic cat's moment

====TRAGIC_CAT'S_MOMENT.====
The cat was so faithful that the woman could leave her baby with it & go out to attend other matters.
She always returned to find the child soundly asleep with the cat faithfully watching over him.

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A Heart touching story

<HEART TOUCHING STORY>
.
A boy and a girl Loved each other very much.
Unfortunately the Girl Died..
The Boy was So Upset and he couldn’t Stop his
Tears.
.
He kept on Crying Day and Night.. Many People
gave him Sympathy,
but no Argument could Stop His Tears.
.
One Night He Slept and had a Dream;
.
He saw the Girl in Heaven with so many Girls of
Her age.
He felt Relaxed.. But He Noticed that every Girl
was in Fairy Dress;
and had a Lightened Candle in their Hands, but
his GF had a Candle which was not.Lightened..!
.
He asked Her:
β€œWhy is Your Candle not Lightened?” She Replied:
β€œWhenever I lighten My Candle;
Your Tears fall on it..!
Please Stop Crying…
.
PRAYER !! !! !!
.
TODAY I PROPHECIES THAT YOU WILL NEVER
LOOSE ANYONE YOU LOVE ON EARTH
PREMATURELY.
.

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A Understanding Agribusiness and Entrepreneurship study question

Many people confuse on the difference between agriculture and agribusiness. What is your opinion on that? What are the main factors that brought development in agribusiness in your coutry? (25 marks)

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A Lol πŸ˜‚ X-Mass is Jesus Birthday 🎊 not yours

Girl: Boo Xmas is approaching.
Boy: Thanks for reminding me. Can't wait.
Girl: Get me a Tablet for Xmas.
Boy: Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Boy: Paracetamol or Vitamin C?
Girl: I mean Samsung Tablet baby
Boy: Relax!! It's Jesus Birthday not yours!

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A Where will this corruption end?

School Group Photo : Headmaster to Photographer ksh.20 is too much. There are 2000 students, Charge Only ksh.10 its sufficient!!

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