Updated: 29 Oct 2016 01:59. By, Melkisedeck Shine.

Each person is unique: Remember that each individual is different and has his or her unique characteristics and qualities. Comparing yourself with others around only increases the distress, especially when you start focusing on where you are lacking compared to others. It is important that you channelize your energy towards your positive traits. Do not get swayed by media portrayals: Media portrays people in its own idiosyncratic ways.

It does not mean what or how you should be. Personality matters, not looks alone: It is not just looks that are important and that define who you are. Personality defines who you are and how you respond in various situations. It is essential to focus on the personality, which matters the most. Learn social skills: Just looking good will never be sufficient to take you forward in life or help you in your relationships with people. Instead, hone your social skills. The more success one has in social spheres of life, the better you would feel about yourself. Have a healthy lifestyle: Life is a balancing act. Learning to balance different aspects of life is integral to a wholesome life. Have a good, balanced diet and exercise. Do not avoid social interactions: Just because you feel you aren't good-looking, do not avoid meeting people. The more you shun social interaction, the worse you would feel about yourself. Know your positives: If every individual has his or her limitations, then he or she also has positives. These positive are what you need to concentrate on. Know your strengths. Acknowledge them and work with them. Get healthy peer support: Peers are an important part of your support system. Having peers who are supportive can contribute to our understanding of situations, giving alternative perspectives. Talk to parents and friends: The difficulties you might face in evaluating yourself in a positive light can be taken care of by talking to family and friends. Develop media literacy skills: Learn to see messages in the media in a dispassionate manner. Try and develop this skill so that you are able to integrate what the media shows in a realistic manner. Everyone has their notion of how people should look and dress, etc… All these diverse perceptions can lead individuals to believe that they need to be a particular way, and if not, then it implies something negative about them. This can frequently affect one's moods and behaviour. Know Yourself: The first step on your quest to develop your personality is to know yourself. It is very important to know yourself in order to figure out what needs to be done to modify your existing personality. Knowing yourself is not about knowing your favorite color, food and etc. It is about knowing your limitations and plus points. You must be aware of your abilities so that you can use them when the time comes. You need to analyze yourself and find out what is it that you lacking in. Are you short tempered or do you panic easily or is that you can't speak in a group. Find out and then accordingly we can work on your personality. Comparison: You need to accept one thing that you cannot be best at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. You are different from others; you have your own set of talents and abilities. Just because there is someone around who is great at a think you are not good at does not mean he is better than you. There will be things that he cannot do but you can. No one is perfect in this world. So never compare yourself to others. It does more harm than good. Love yourself and you will definitely achieve a better personality. Courteous: Personality as I said is not just about how you look. It is how you present yourself. It is how you impress others. An expressionless and monotonous tone will get you nowhere. You need to have an attitude that is pleasing so that you are welcomed wherever you go. Be courteous and humble. Greet your juniors with a smile and reply back to their greetings. At times have lunch together or offer your lunch to them. Be available for your people and you will become dependable for them. This is a remarkable trait for your personality. Mannerism weighs a lot in the professional world. Body Language: Having a personality takes into account everything. Not just the way you dress up and talk but also your body language. How you walk, sit , eat , how you behave when others are talking etc make a huge impact on others. Your body language is therefore a very important is very aspect of your personality. Have a relaxed posture. Walk upright do not droop or be extra rigid. When others in a group are talking have a relaxed tone. Do not get involved with the surroundings but pay attention to the speaker. If he is talking to you have a calm eye contact and not staring or distracted. Have a good body language that shows that you are confident. Physique: The easiest way to achieve a good personality is to have a good physique. It cannot be denied that a good physique is very important. It is a very important part of your personality. Your physique not only sets an impression but it speaks a lot about you. A good physique says that you are a well planned person. You think about yourself and about your health. It also gives a perception that you are away from bad habits and company. It really says a lot about you. So start exercising and stay fit to develop your personality. Speech: A very vital part of any personality development program is to help you speak better. By speaking better I do not mean using big words and giving speeches. The words you use are very important. Have a decent and simple manner of speaking. Use a language that is understood by all. Now a day's English has the top priority. If you do not have grips over this language enroll yourself with some coaching class. When you speak in a group see to it that your words are not offending or agitating. When to speak is more important than what to speak. So take care of your speech as much as you can. Appreciate: A great personality knows how to impress and make an impact. In the professional world where you work or stay in a group; to be accepted by others is very important. All the pain of building a personality is to be accepted so that we can move on and work in a better way. Develop a habit of appreciating your mates no matter how small the work is. Although take care that you are not being fake. Appreciating others makes you a very friendly person. You also motivate your mates and that makes you a better employee as well. Thus a simple habit of appreciating helps you develop your personality by making you a little selfless. Attire: Yes personality is not all about dressing up but the way you dress does have an impact on your personality. So even if not the most important you attire is definitely one of the most important aspect of your personality. Dress up in a decent manner. Be professional and avoid flashy colors. Avoid unnecessary piercing on your body or tattoos. Wear neatly ironed and unstained clothes. Look pro essional or according to the environment of your working place. It is very important to develop your personality to have a great sense of dressing. Confidence: I will definitely say that this is the most important thing to be achieved to obtain a better personality. You have to be confident with whatever you do. Your confidence says that you know about your work and you are well aware of your abilities. If you shy of speaking in public then you have to start speaking as having confidence is very important. Believe in yourself and to help you build confidence read success stories of other people. Have motivational slogans and pictures on your board etc to help you boot your confidence.

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Show respect for the others persons opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically. Begin in a friendly way. Get the other person saying Yes, yes immediately. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Let the other person feel that the idea is his. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. Appeal to nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge.. read more

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Show respect for the others persons opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically. Begin in a friendly way. Get the other person saying Yes, yes immediately. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Let the other person feel that the idea is his. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. Appeal to nobler motives. Dramatize your ideas. Throw down a challenge.. read more

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Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Arouse in the other person an eager want. Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other mans interest. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.. read more

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Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.
After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.

Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.

One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.

He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.

So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.

“Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"

The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"

Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"

The Manager told Thomas,

"I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!"

So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;

“Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:

"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.

The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.

He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.

He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.

The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.

He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.

We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.

This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.

I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."

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