*Benefit of not sleeping in Church!!*

‘``While in Church a lady dozed off during preaching she woke up and heard the pastor saying stand to ur feet!
She stood up and saw the whole congregation in shock including her husband, she looked round and saw that she was the only person standing!!
The pastor continued and said yes keep standing, we have 1 person standing already, now let me repeat myself incase you didn’t hear me!
If you are unfaithful in ur marriage stand up!!!
The lady fainted!```😨😩😩😩😩😩

stop_sleeping_in_Church

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πŸ“° Recommended PostsπŸ‘‡

πŸ“Œ STORY would you stop to listen?

Here is a lady disembarking from a matatu, she drops something unaware and a shabbily and dirty dressed boy picks it up.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰STORY would you stop to listen?βœ”

πŸ“Œ Where to look for business opportunities

(1) They can develop/evolve as a result of your personal background including your previous jobs, hobbies and personal experiences, or
(2) From opportunities in the external environment or general market place

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πŸ“Œ Where will this corruption end?

School Group Photo : Headmaster to Photographer ksh.20 is too much. There are 2000 students, Charge Only ksh.10 its sufficient!!

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πŸ“Œ Things are always not they seem

🌽🌽THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM
A guy met one of his school mates several years after school and he could not believe his eyes; his friend was driving one of the latest sleek Mercedes Benz cars. He went home feeling awful and very disappointed in himself. He thought he was a failure.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
What he didn't know was that his friend was a driver and had been sent on an errand with his boss's car!
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
Rosemary nagged her husband always for not being romantic. She accused him of not getting down to open the car door for her as her friend Jane's husband did when he dropped her off at work.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
What Rosemary didn't know was that Jane's husband's car had a faulty door that could only be opened from the outside!
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
Sampson's wife went to visit one of her long time friends and was very troubled for seeing the 3 lovely children of her friend playing around. Her problem was that she had only one child and have been struggling to conceive for the past five years.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
What she didn't know was that one of those children who was the biological child of her friend had sickle cell and had just a year to live; the other two are adopted!
🌽Life does not have a universal measuring tool; so create yours and use it.
🌽Looking at people and comparing yourself with them will not make you better but bitter.
🌽If you knew the sort of load the camel carries, you wouldn't ask why it takes those gentle strides.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
So be thankful to God for what you have and enjoy it. You never know, someone may earnestly be praying for what you don't appreciate but take for granted.
🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽
GOD BLESS US WITH MUCH MORE AS WE APPRECIATE WHAT WE ALREADY HAVEπŸ™

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πŸ“Œ Where you wait for the bus 🚌 doesn't matter but your relationship with driver does

There's an old story of the boy who stood on a sidewalk, waiting for a bus. A man walking by spotted the boy and gave him some gentle instruction. "Son," he said, "if you're waiting for the bus you need to move to the street corner. That's where the bus stops for passengers."

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Where you wait for the bus 🚌 doesn't matter but your relationship with driver doesβœ”

πŸ“Œ Wise words from great thinkers and observers

Buffalos kill 7 people every year.
Lions kill 500 people every year.
Hippos kill 800 people every year.
Spiders kill 5000 people every year.
Scorpions kill 7000 people every year.
Snakes kill 10000 people every year.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Wise words from great thinkers and observersβœ”

πŸ“Œ Who is the Catholic Church

Before 1517, every Christian was Catholic. As such, today we know that:
If you are Lutheran then your Church was founded by Fr Martin Luther in Germany in 1517.
If you are Menonite, your Church was founded by Grebel, Mantz and Blaurock, in 1525.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Who is the Catholic Churchβœ”

πŸ“Œ Dress proper ladies

Two young ladies arrived in a Meeting wearing clothes that were quite revealing their body parts. Here is what the Chairman told them: He took a good look at them and made them sit. Then he said something that, they might never forget in their life. He looked at them straight in the eyes and said; "ladies, everything that God mande valuable in this world is well covered and hardly to see, find or get.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Dress proper ladiesβœ”

πŸ“Œ Business Concept and Idea Development

In order to market your product or service, you will want to be very clear about what it is that your business actually does or has to offer. You should be able to quickly and accurately describe your business concept in just a few sentences.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Business Concept and Idea Developmentβœ”

πŸ“Œ Just think about this

*No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don't see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That's UNITY." May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness*.

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πŸ“Œ Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Mathematicians view of lifeβœ”

πŸ“Œ Just a notice to you

‘``1. πŸ‘‰No matter how beautiful and handsome you’re just remember Baboon and Gorillas also attract tourists .
✌Stop Boasting✌

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πŸ“Œ Funny mathematics paper

MATHEMATICS,PAPER 1 P299/2
Time:2:30mins
Instruction: Attempt any four
questions.
ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
1. You have dated a girl for two years and eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted (20 marks).
2. You buy airtime for your girlfriend and she calls another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive the general formula for this kind of love (20 marks).
3. You are dating four girls simultaneously, and each of these girls is demanding a Samsung Galaxy S5 and an Ipad 3 from you.
(a) Plot a graph of girls against the prices of these phones(15 marks).
(b) Using data from your graph, state the estimates of your future poverty (5 marks).
4. You are dating other people's sisters, but you don't want to see any guy with any of your sisters. Calculate the percentage error in your thinking capacity, given that you have 4 sisters and 3 girlfriends. Take Pi = 3.14 (20 marks).

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Funny mathematics paperβœ”

πŸ“Œ STORY The price of kindness

A poor boy who was begging from door to door
to feed his hungry stomach, decided he would
ask for a meal at next house. However, at the
next house he lost his nerve when a lovely young
girl opened the door. So instead of a meal, he
asked for a glass of water.
The girl thought, he looked hungry. So, she
brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it
slowly, & asked thereafter : 'how much do I owe
you for this ? You don't owe me anything, she
replied. Mother has taught us never to accept
pay for kindness. He said, then I thank you from
the bottom of my heart.
Years later, that girl (now a woman) became
critically ill, and the local doctors tried their
possible best to save her life but they couldn't
cure her. They finally sent her to the big city
where specialists studied her rare illness. Dr.
Kelly was called in for the consultation, when he
heard the name of the town where she came
from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately, he rose & went down the hall of
the hospital to her room. He recognised her at
once. He went back to the consultation room
determined to do his best to save her life.
From that day, he gave special attention to
that case. After a long struggle, the battle
was won and the woman was cured. Dr. Kelly
requested the business office to pass her final
bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then
wrote something on the bill and It was sent to
her room.
The woman feared opening it cos she was sure it
might take the rest of her life savings to pay
for it . Finally she looked at it and noticed
something was written at the edge of the note,
'Paid In Full With a Glass of Milk'. Tears filled
her eyes as she immediately remembered.
Every form of kindness you show is never in
vain, it reproduces itself. Well, not necessarily
before your eyes, but it always does. I've been
kind to you by sharing this story. And U be kind
to share it with others.
Its good to be good. Always be nice: It will
come back to you.*

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰STORY The price of kindnessβœ”

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πŸ“° Recent PostsπŸ‘‡

A Think Critically act Positively


1. ON EARNING:
Never depend on single income. Make investment to
create a second chance.

2. ON SPENDING:
If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.

3. ON SAVINGS:
Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.

4. ON TAKING RISK:
Never test the depth of a river with both feet.

5. ON INVESTMENT:
Do not put all eggs in one basket.

6. ON EXPECTATIONS:
Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.

7. Past is a waste paper, present is a newspaper, and future is a question paper. Come out of your past, control the present, and secure the future.

8. When bad things happen in your life, you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you or you can let it strengthen you.

9. Our eyes are in the front because it is more
important to look ahead than to look backwards.

10. We use pencil when we were young, but now we use pens. Do you know why? Because mistakes in childhood can easily be erased, unlike now. So read and write carefully, otherwise, life will be a
tissue paper.
__

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A Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Mathematicians view of lifeβœ”

A How to overcome fear

Understand Your Fear Try to understand why you fear or what causes you to fear. Only when you have identified the source of your fear can you start on the process of overcoming it. You can start by listing all your fears on your notepad and then striking them off once you have overcome them. Breathe Deep Taking deep breaths when you are scared or worried helps you relax to a great extent. Make sure that you exhale longer than you inhale. Fear will automatically reduce since you will also calm down. This can also help you to think things out effectively. Breathing exercises can be practiced during meditation. Chalk Out A Plan & Be Positive Always have a plan for situations which may not bring you certain results. For instance, you may be afraid to attend an interview in fear of being rejected. You may also fear a date for similar reasons or may feel scared about losing your job as you do not know how life will be after that. But in all these situations, you can chalk out a plan beforehand, a plan which will bring you favorable results and thus kill all fears. Though plans do not work always, a positive attitude always does, therefore think positive in every walk of life. Confront Your Fears Many people are scared of something specific, like being in the dark or driving or swimming. If you too fall in the same category, make it a point to learn the thing that you fear doing. Even if you fail once or twice, don't give up on your hope and practice hard to overcome your fear. Switch off the lights when you are alone in a room and see what happens. You can be assured that nothing is going to attack you! Once when you have confronted your fear by actually performing the same thing that you fear, you will successfully kill your fear. Boost Up Confidence Sometimes, fear is the result of extreme low belief in oneself and low confidence. Practice exercises which help to boost self confidence. For example, you can stand in front of the mirror and pretend to speak to a stranger, so that you do not have to fear mingling with a new group of people the next time you come across one. This exercise can also help you overcome stage fright. Seek Medical Help If nothing seems to be working for you and you still feel intermittently scared, there is no harm in seeking medical help, for who knows, after a couple of sessions, you might actually be able to ward off your fear. Nowadays, there are psychiatrists who help people to overcome their fear and shortcomings. However, resort to this, only when all the above have failed.

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A The journey is so short

A young lady sat in a public transport: an old grumpy lady came and sat by her as she bumped into her with her numerous bags. The other neighbor got upset, asking the young lady why she did not protest and insist on her rights: she responded with a smile: "It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant!' I'll alight at the next stop, replied the young lady".

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰The journey is so shortβœ”

A How to write Business Description

1. Legalities - business form: proprietorship, partnership, and corporation. The licenses or permits you will need.
2. Business type: merchandizing, manufacturing or service.
3. What your product or service is.
4. Is it a new independent business, a takeover, an expansion, a franchise?
5. Why your business will be profitable. What are the growth opportunities? Will franchising impact on growth opportunities?
6. When your business will be open (days, hours)?
7. What you have learned about your kind of business from outside sources (trade suppliers, bankers, other franchise owners, franchiser, publications).
A cover sheet goes before the description. It includes the name, address and telephone number of the business and the names of all principals. In the description of your business, describe the unique aspects and how or why they will appeal to consumers. Emphasize any special features that you feel will appeal to customers and explain how and why these features are appealing.

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A Interesting story for new year

Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.

After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.

Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.

One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.

He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.

So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"

The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"

Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"

The Manager told Thomas,

"I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!"

So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:

"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.

The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.

He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.

He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.

The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.

He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.

We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.

This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.

I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."

Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra.
He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Interesting story for new yearβœ”

A Best interesting quotes for today which will change you

1. If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!" Remember your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you, are they marrying spirits? Wise up!

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A Where do entrepreneurs come from and how do they develop?

If you choose an entrepreneurial career much will depend on your ability to learn quickly from experience, cope with uncertainty, respond to changing circumstances, and deal with unexpected critical incidents. You will find these things less difficult if you develop your general enterprising tendencies.

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A Try this if you think you speak English fluently

try dis!
''THREE WITCHES WISH THREE WISHES,BUT WHICH WITCH KNOWS WHICH WISH WHICH WITCH WISHED."
Send it back as a voicenote, let's hear accents,
Don't spoil d fun….
Waiting 4 ur voicenote πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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A Where you wait for the bus 🚌 doesn't matter but your relationship with driver does

There's an old story of the boy who stood on a sidewalk, waiting for a bus. A man walking by spotted the boy and gave him some gentle instruction. "Son," he said, "if you're waiting for the bus you need to move to the street corner. That's where the bus stops for passengers."

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Where you wait for the bus 🚌 doesn't matter but your relationship with driver doesβœ”

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