Wife: Am nearly 45 yrs old and one of your friends still finds me attractive !

Husband :Aaah that must be Kamau
Wife :That's correct, how did you know that ?
Husband : He deals with scrapers ….
πŸ™ˆ

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πŸ“° Recommended PostsπŸ‘‡

πŸ“Œ Change your thinking reach your goals and dreams

We can"t change our lives while we are not thinking in the right way

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Change your thinking reach your goals and dreamsβœ”

πŸ“Œ Plane crush

PLANE CRUSH:

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Plane crushβœ”

πŸ“Œ Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Mathematicians view of lifeβœ”

πŸ“Œ Clear explanation of Planning

Planning means looking ahead and checking out future course of action to be followed. It is a preparatory step. Planning is a detailed programme regarding future course of action. It determines on when, how and who is going to perform a specific task

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Clear explanation of Planningβœ”

πŸ“Œ Best Funny quote of the day

πŸ‘‡Quote Of The Day ….
The last drop of urine doesn't obey the law of gravity unless u shake it well !!😎

- Isaac Newton's room mate.

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πŸ“Œ Look how words you use may change your life

A story is told about a young Thomas Edison who came home one day with a paper for his mother.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Look how words you use may change your lifeβœ”

πŸ“Œ STORY: King and young boys

An aging King realized that if he died he has no one to take over the throne. He decided to adopt a son.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰STORY: King and young boysβœ”

πŸ“Œ Ways. To increase concentration

Pick a valid subject of concentration. If there is no passion or plausible motivation, then your task of concentrating is going to be one hell of a challenge! Remember how you used to do the laundry or mow the lawn so half heartedly and the outcome was a disaster? Analogously, you cannot ace your mathematics test if you resent it and hence if you fail to concentrate, you will also fail the test! The Five More Rule is a technique that has certainly helped many individuals who invariably fall short of concentration. You set a target to finish a fixed amount of work or studying. However, ten minutes later, you are already tempted to step out for a smoke or check the football game score. Block all lures and enticements to immerse your heart and mind into achieving your goals. Solve five more math problems or dedicate five more minutes to a chapter of history, or else face guilt when you indulge in play. To your delight, five minutes is all it takes to engross you to such an extent that you forfeit your break! Stretch your attention span and build mental endurance! If you are convinced you have the world's lowest attention span, here's an interesting exercise. Walk into a movie theater and catch up on a random gripping action or drama film. Thirty minutes into the movie, shift your gaze from the screen and look around. What do you see? Probably a hundred riveted faces. If you stare long enough, you will notice how rarely they blink. Only a false alarm of a fire breakout could distract them! Observe the audiences and learn the art of concentration as they stay still scene after scene. To encourage your strong desire to maintain concentration, eliminate stumbling blocks such as multi-tasking, blaring radios or TV sets and flashing multi-colored lights.

πŸ‘continue to read about πŸ‘‰Ways. To increase concentrationβœ”

πŸ“Œ 10 words of wisdom to Africa

The late Dr Myles Munroe was a man of wisdom.

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πŸ“Œ Interesting facts from beans

I found this interesting …
Before you cook beans you go through a selection process in which all the seemingly bad beans are thrown away so only the good beans remain for cooking.
However, when rain comes, the bad beans you threw away in the backyard become seeds, germinate and grow into beautiful crops, with luscious leaves.
From them come plenty of bean seeds and the very same person who judged and threw them away will pluck the leaves and seeds for a healthy meal.
You may be judged, despised and discarded today, but, who knows, the same people judging you will turn to you in your moment of glory.
Do not curse yourself when the world look down on you. Your rain could be a matter of time. Your germination moment could just be around the corner!.Stay focused on your life goals and give your job the best. The best is yet to come.!

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πŸ“Œ How to write Business Description

1. Legalities - business form: proprietorship, partnership, and corporation. The licenses or permits you will need.
2. Business type: merchandizing, manufacturing or service.
3. What your product or service is.
4. Is it a new independent business, a takeover, an expansion, a franchise?
5. Why your business will be profitable. What are the growth opportunities? Will franchising impact on growth opportunities?
6. When your business will be open (days, hours)?
7. What you have learned about your kind of business from outside sources (trade suppliers, bankers, other franchise owners, franchiser, publications).
A cover sheet goes before the description. It includes the name, address and telephone number of the business and the names of all principals. In the description of your business, describe the unique aspects and how or why they will appeal to consumers. Emphasize any special features that you feel will appeal to customers and explain how and why these features are appealing.

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πŸ“Œ The journey is so short

A young lady sat in a public transport: an old grumpy lady came and sat by her as she bumped into her with her numerous bags. The other neighbor got upset, asking the young lady why she did not protest and insist on her rights: she responded with a smile: "It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant!' I'll alight at the next stop, replied the young lady".

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πŸ“° Recent PostsπŸ‘‡

A Facts of Life

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

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A ENTREPRENEURSHIP THEORIES AND MODELS

Recent studies suggest a multitude of entrepreneurial influences, grounded on a number of theoretical paradigms. As a starting point, entrepreneurial outcomes are viewed as lying along a continuum which separates low and high performances in entrepreneurship, which are then envisioned to be associated with high and low barriers.

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A Mathematicians view of life

Mathematicians say LIFE is like a line segment drawn from point B to point D.

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A Heart touching story

<HEART TOUCHING STORY>
.
A boy and a girl Loved each other very much.
Unfortunately the Girl Died..
The Boy was So Upset and he couldn’t Stop his
Tears.
.
He kept on Crying Day and Night.. Many People
gave him Sympathy,
but no Argument could Stop His Tears.
.
One Night He Slept and had a Dream;
.
He saw the Girl in Heaven with so many Girls of
Her age.
He felt Relaxed.. But He Noticed that every Girl
was in Fairy Dress;
and had a Lightened Candle in their Hands, but
his GF had a Candle which was not.Lightened..!
.
He asked Her:
β€œWhy is Your Candle not Lightened?” She Replied:
β€œWhenever I lighten My Candle;
Your Tears fall on it..!
Please Stop Crying…
.
PRAYER !! !! !!
.
TODAY I PROPHECIES THAT YOU WILL NEVER
LOOSE ANYONE YOU LOVE ON EARTH
PREMATURELY.
.

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A STORY The price of kindness

A poor boy who was begging from door to door
to feed his hungry stomach, decided he would
ask for a meal at next house. However, at the
next house he lost his nerve when a lovely young
girl opened the door. So instead of a meal, he
asked for a glass of water.
The girl thought, he looked hungry. So, she
brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it
slowly, & asked thereafter : 'how much do I owe
you for this ? You don't owe me anything, she
replied. Mother has taught us never to accept
pay for kindness. He said, then I thank you from
the bottom of my heart.
Years later, that girl (now a woman) became
critically ill, and the local doctors tried their
possible best to save her life but they couldn't
cure her. They finally sent her to the big city
where specialists studied her rare illness. Dr.
Kelly was called in for the consultation, when he
heard the name of the town where she came
from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately, he rose & went down the hall of
the hospital to her room. He recognised her at
once. He went back to the consultation room
determined to do his best to save her life.
From that day, he gave special attention to
that case. After a long struggle, the battle
was won and the woman was cured. Dr. Kelly
requested the business office to pass her final
bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then
wrote something on the bill and It was sent to
her room.
The woman feared opening it cos she was sure it
might take the rest of her life savings to pay
for it . Finally she looked at it and noticed
something was written at the edge of the note,
'Paid In Full With a Glass of Milk'. Tears filled
her eyes as she immediately remembered.
Every form of kindness you show is never in
vain, it reproduces itself. Well, not necessarily
before your eyes, but it always does. I've been
kind to you by sharing this story. And U be kind
to share it with others.
Its good to be good. Always be nice: It will
come back to you.*

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A To learn how to love yourself

Accept Your Personality Your life has not ended yet. You still have plenty of years to live. Hence, it's never too late to improve or develop yourself throughout your life. However, it is best if you accept yourself for whom you are. Be happy and celebrate your unique qualities and characteristics. After all, you are a unique individual created from God's own hands. Be Happy With Your Body Size Both men and women are often too conscious about their physical appearance, especially when they see a well-toned and figured person crossing their way. In case of women, some feel that their breasts are just too small, while there are others who feel they have heavy butt. Men, on the other hand, feel inferior to those who are well built or have a great muscular body. For all such gentlemen and ladies, remember that we are not produced from a single factory. Each one of us is different; hence, it is better if you accept, or rather love, your physical appearance. Built Confidence No person is born with natural confidence. It is the upbringing and your surroundings that help you develop poise and self-confidence. Children who are taught to become self independent from an early age have greater level of confidence than those who look up to their parents for every knick and knack. Start revealing a positive attitude and a feeling of self assurance and see how confidence comes natural to you in no time. Find Out Your Good Qualities And Achievements Looking out for some good qualities in yourself? Were you not able to find any? Does that make you hate yourself further? Why? Aren't you a homosapien? Just like every person has some negative attributes, so does he have positive characteristics as well. It is good to criticize your self but then do not be over critical. Accept your flaws and try to come over them. As for your positives, just keep on bettering them and who knows you might be able to love yourself all the more. Stop Regretting On Your Mistakes So, you have committed a mistake? So what? It's just a mistake. No one is going to beat or punish you to death. Making mistakes is natural to any human being. So stop beating or cursing yourself over and over again. Instead, sit down and analyze your mistakes. Take positive lessons from them and find out what different you can do next time to avoid these stupid and silly errors. Forget the past and plan the future. Don't Let Others Dominate You Sad but true, often people treat you like a doormat simply because you allow them to do so. It's your life and no one has the right to control or rule it, except you. So stop being too kind and generous when a friend constantly borrows money from you with no promises of repaying it back. Stand up and dump that guy who calls and looks up to you only for sex and nothing else. Remember, do not let anyone treat you badly because you deserve better than being only used or criticized.

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A A letter from an aborted child

A LETTER FROM AN ABORTED CHILD
Dear Mum,
I have decided to talk to you to let you know my
feelings. I want to know why you did it. My story
is short. I stayed inside you for only a couple of
weeks. I was very comfortable and warm. I felt
really protected. I knew you were a special
person because you never stopped me from
eating the food you ate. I longed for the day I
would see your face. Nine months was a long
time to wait, but I was determined to wait. I had
to be patient.
A man then offered you some amount of money to
get rid of me. I was happy and prayed that this
meant that I would at least see you, the only
person that I knew in the world. I was wrong. I had
almost forgotten the issues until I felt something
sharp pierce my tiny ear. I jerked silently and in
pain, and asked you to protect me. Seconds later
the object came,fiercer than before. My tiny body
was cut up, starting from the ears then arms and
legs. It was an agonizing experience. My head was
then cut off and I died.
It took me a whole hour to die. A whole hour for
an innocent few weeks human being to be
murdered by you! I remember the whole incident
vividly and I keep asking myself what I did to
deserve that cruel death. Why me? Why did you
do that to me? And why was I not given a
chance to live just like they children you hear
playing around? How do you feel when you send
some of them on errands when I could have done
that with pride if you had given me the chance to
live? Don't you see the beauty in playing with a
child that calls you mom with a sweet soft voice?
I know you are having a lot of nightmares. You
remain guilty for the beastly act. Please explain
to God why you committed the heinous act. He
sent me to you as a very special gift. My purpose
was to make you proud by being the great
person God meant me to be. I have forgiven you
though I never lived to see your face. My journey
back to my creator was safe, and I arrived
safely. I was given a red-carpet welcome by an
angel. I am in fact without bitterness. I still love
you, mum.
Yours Never-seen child.
If you are touched, join the "STOP ABORTION"
campaign by sharing this post with your friends.
…. STOP ABORTION !!!.

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A Take this lesson for a poor young man

A very poor newly wedded, young couple lived in a small farm. One day the husband made the following proposal to his wife:
Honey, I will leave the house: I will travel faraway, get a job and work hard in order to come back and give you the comfortable life that you deserve. I do not know how long I will stay away, I only ask one thing, please wait for me, and while I am away, you should be faithful to me, because I will be faithful to you. His wife agreed, so the young man left. He walked many days until he found a farmer who was in need of someone to help him. The young man offered his services. He was accepted. Therefore he discussed the terms with his boss:
Let me work for as long as I want and when I think I should go home, please relieve me of my duties. I do not want to receive my salary. I ask you to save it for me, until the day I leave. The day I decide to go, please give me the money and I will go my way. They agreed on that. So, the young man worked for twenty years without holiday and without rest. After twenty years, he came to his boss and said:
Boss, I want my money, because I am returning to my home. The boss replied:
All right, after all, I made a deal with you and I will stick to it. However, before you go I want to offer you something new: I will give you all your money and send you away; or I will give you 3 pieces of advice and send you away. If I give you money, you lose the 3 pieces of advice. If I give you the 3 pieces of advice, you lose the money. Now, go to your room and think about your answer. He thought for two days. Then he went to the boss and told him:
I want the 3 pieces of advice. The boss stressed again, if I give you the 3 pieces of advice, I will not give you the money, and the man replied:
I want the 3 pieces of advice. The boss then told him:
No. 1: Never take shortcuts in your life, shorter and unknown paths can cost your life. No. 2: Never be too curious, for curiosity towards evil can be deadly. No. 3: Never make decisions in moments of anger or pain, because when you repent, it could be too late. After giving these 3 pieces of advice, the boss said to him:
Here, you have 3 loaves of bread, 2 are for you to eat during the journey and the last is for you to eat with your wife when you get home. So, the man went his way, after twenty years away from home and from his wife, whom he loved so much. After the first day of travel, he found a man who greeted him and asked:
Where are you going? He replied:
To a distant place which is about 20 days away if I continue walking. The man said to him:
Ol' boy, this path is too long! I know a shortcut that is very safe and you will arrive in 5 days only. The man began to follow the path suggested until he remembered the first piece of advice. Then, he returned and followed the long path. Days later he learned that the shortcut led to an ambush.
After a few more days of travel, he found an inn by the roadside, where he could rest. He paid for a room and after taking a bath he lay down to sleep. During the night he woke up as he heard a terrifying scream. He rose to his feet and went to the door to check what happened. As he was opening the door, he remembered the second piece of advice. Therefore he returned, lay down again and slept. At dawn, after breakfast, the owner of the lodging asked him if he had not heard the scream at night. He affirmed that he heard. Then, the host said:
Were you not curious to see what happened? And he replied:
No, I was not. Then the host said:
You are the first guest to leave this inn alive. My neighbour is completely crazy. He usually shouts at night to call someone’s attention. When some of the guests come out, he kills them and buries their bodies in the backyard. The man continued his long journey, eager to arrive soon.
After many days and nights walking, he was very tired, but he finally saw his house far away. It was night. He saw some light coming out of the window of his house and was able to see the silhouette of his wife. But he also saw that she was not alone. He came closer and saw there was a man with her. She softly caressed his hair. When he saw that scene, his heart was filled with hatred and bitterness. He decided to rush at and kill them both mercilessly. However, he took a deep breath and he remembered the third piece of advice. Then he stopped, reflected and decided to sleep outside that night. He slept in the midst of the bushes, determined to make a decision the next day. At dawn, he was calmer and thought:
I will not kill my wife and her lover. I am going back to my boss to ask him to take me back. But before I go, I want to tell my wife that I have always been faithful to her.
He went to the front door and knocked. When his wife opened the door and recognized him, she cried and embraced him warmly. He tried to push her away, but he
was not able. Then, with tears in his eyes he told her:
I was faithful to you but you betrayed me.
She was shocked, so she replied:
How did I betray you? I have never betrayed you. I waited patiently for you for twenty good years. Then he asked:
How about the man that you were caressing yesterday? And she said:
That man is your son. When you left, I discovered I was pregnant. Today he is twenty years old. Hearing that, the man asked her forgiveness. He met and hugged his son. Then he told them all the things he had experienced while away. Meanwhile, his wife prepared some coffee for them to eat together, the last bread given by his boss. After a prayer of thanksgiving, he broke the bread. When he looked at it, he found all his money inside. In fact, there was even more than the right payment for his twenty years of dedication and hard work.
Friends, our God is like this boss. When he asks us to make a sacrifice, he wants to give us more than what we give Him. He wants us to have His unique wisdom as well as the material blessings.

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A Be careful

You have been single throughout the year, and two weeks to Christmas you fall in love

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A Life facts which I have discovered

When I woke up I was pondering about life, I discovered that:

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A Interesting story for new year

Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university.

After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position.

Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway.

One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore.

He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but only promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion.

So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task.

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Thomas returned and said, "yes there is someone!"

The Manager asked, "how much per kg?"

Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; "they are 13.50 per kg!"

The Manager told Thomas,

"I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!"

So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas;

β€œGo and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?”

Ezra went to find out and on his return he said:

"Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town.

The cost is 49.00 each water melon and 32.50 for a half melon.

He sells them at 13.50 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg.

He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at 27.00 per melon; this includes delivery.

The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year.

He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge.

We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year's profits in melons by 223 000.00.

This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 3.78% to our current overall sales target.

I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet.
Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes."

Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra.
He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra.

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A Advice for knowledge

Advice just for knowledge…..
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen
everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No
one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this
one decision will come 90 per cent of all your
happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people
who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see
again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be
all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them
win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic
person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-
death matters, nothing is as important as it first
seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important
moments. It's there for our convenience, not the
caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a
secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first
to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before
you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to
lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how
many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read,
No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back
on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do
more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone
you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a
grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those
who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let
someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in
hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite
music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them,
'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side
table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3
a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a
living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a
reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for
the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in
someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in
any job is based on your ability to deal with
people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair.

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A This is the sad story

πŸƒπŸŒΉπŸƒπŸŒΉπŸƒπŸŒΉπŸƒπŸŒΉπŸƒπŸŒΉ

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A Where do entrepreneurs come from and how do they develop?

If you choose an entrepreneurial career much will depend on your ability to learn quickly from experience, cope with uncertainty, respond to changing circumstances, and deal with unexpected critical incidents. You will find these things less difficult if you develop your general enterprising tendencies.

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A Try this if you think you speak English fluently

try dis!
''THREE WITCHES WISH THREE WISHES,BUT WHICH WITCH KNOWS WHICH WISH WHICH WITCH WISHED."
Send it back as a voicenote, let's hear accents,
Don't spoil d fun….
Waiting 4 ur voicenote πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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A The scientific death of Jesus Christ

THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
For the next 60 seconds, set aside whatever
You're doing and take this opportunity! To share this

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