Updated: 12 May 2018 13:26. By, Melkisedeck Shine.

V.gif Why did the robber take a shower?

Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif First penis and brain guard

First penis guard in cricket was used in 1874!

And first helmet was used in 1974.

IT TOOK 100 yrs FOR MEN TO REALIZE THAT

BRAIN IS ALSO IMPORTANT!
😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

The letter β€œd.”

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif Why did the elephant cross the road?

Because it was the chicken’s day off.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What do you call a fly with no wings?

Answer: A walk.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

I find you very attractive.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif Why did the chicken go to jail?

Because he was using fowl language.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and I, something smells.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif How do bears keep their den cool in the summer?

They use bear-conditioning.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What time is it when you have a toothache?

Answer: Tooth Hurty.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What’s a math teacher’s favorite tool?

Answer: Multipliers.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif Why is 1+1=3 like your left foot?

It’s not right.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif Signs Of Aging

SIGNS OF AGING
Written by a confident lady …πŸ˜„

After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them …….
His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot !

Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion …..
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty 😱😞😞.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked, etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,
I left my keys in the car …. and it has been stolen."

There was a big silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, and happy as well, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car." 😁😁

Don't laugh alone πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Send to other husbands or wives because ….
So many things go wrong daily, and you can't blame yourself all the times πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜†

~~ Shared as received
😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif Why did the horse chew with his mouth open?

Because he had bad stable manners.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


V.gif What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

😁😁 πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ πŸ˜…πŸ˜… πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


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