Updated: 12 May 2018 16:01. By, Melkisedeck Shine.

V.gif Who is wrong here? Story of men and dog

A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite", the man replies "No my dog doesn't" The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Why was the clown crying?

Because he broke his funny bone.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif What do birds do on Halloween?

They go trick or tweeting.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Girlz are like….

Boy: Marry me?
Girl: Do you have a house?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary?
Boy: No salary.. but..
Girl: No but. You have nothing. How can I marry you? Just leave me, please!!
Boy: I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferraris, 2Porsches.. Why do I still needto buy BMW?! How can I get salary when actually I am the BOSS?
Girl : wanna get married ?
Boy: NO !
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Which flower talks the most?

Tulips, because they have two lips.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Why did the elephant cross the road?

Because it was the chickenโ€™s day off.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Whatโ€™s the smartest insect around?

The spelling bee.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif What did the boy pickle say to the girl pickle?

You mean a great dill to me.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif What kind of music do mummies like best?

Answer: Wrap.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Where do polar bears keep their money?

Answer: In snow banks.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Signs Of Aging

SIGNS OF AGING
Written by a confident lady …๐Ÿ˜„

After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them …….
His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot !

Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion …..
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜ž.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked, etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,
I left my keys in the car …. and it has been stolen."

There was a big silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, and happy as well, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car." ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Don't laugh alone ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Send to other husbands or wives because ….
So many things go wrong daily, and you can't blame yourself all the times ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜†

~~ Shared as received
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Why canโ€™t the elephant use the computer?

Because heโ€™s afraid of the mouse.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif Whatโ€™s a batโ€™s favorite pastime?

Hanging out with his friends.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


V.gif The Equation of Marriage

The Equation of Marriage:
7 Glances = 1 Smile
7 Smiles = 1 Meeting
7 Meetings = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposals = 1 Marriage
And that 1 marriage has 77777+
problems.
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


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