Updated: 12 May 2018 06:41. By, Melkisedeck Shine.

V.gif Why is it not a good idea to try to trick a snake?

Because you can’t pull his leg.

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V.gif Why couldn’t the turkey eat dessert?

Because he was stuffed.

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V.gif What did the turkey stay before it was roasted?

I’m stuffed!

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V.gif Why didn’t the oven go to college?

Because it had a lot of degrees already.

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V.gif What do you call a worm with no teeth?

Answer: A gummy worm.

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V.gif How did the boy react when his turtle died?

He was shell-shocked.

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V.gif What does a skeleton order for dinner?

Spare ribs.

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V.gif What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

The letter “d.”

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V.gif What do gymnasts, acrobats, and bananas all have in common?

They can all do splits.

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V.gif Why did everyone want the music teacher to be on their baseball team?

Because she had the perfect pitch.

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V.gif Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly?

They would quack up!

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V.gif Signs Of Aging

SIGNS OF AGING
Written by a confident lady …😄

After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them …….
His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot !

Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion …..
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty 😱😞😞.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked, etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,
I left my keys in the car …. and it has been stolen."

There was a big silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, and happy as well, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car." 😁😁

Don't laugh alone 😄😄😅😅😂😂

Send to other husbands or wives because ….
So many things go wrong daily, and you can't blame yourself all the times 😉😊😆

~~ Shared as received
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V.gif What did the calculator say to the other calculator on Valentine’s Day?

Let me count the ways I love you.

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V.gif Which school supply is king of the classroom?

The ruler

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V.gif News about the ice-­‐cream man?

Did you hear about the ice-­‐cream man, he was found dead in his ice-­‐cream van, covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds-­‐and-­‐thousands? The police said that he had ?topped? himself.
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