.

Melkisedeck Shine Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New year Be Blessed

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Posti nyingine

A Mzee kaingia pharmacy

Mzee kaingia pharmacy,
MZEE: Mambo mwanangu, kuna kitu naomba uonje nitakulipa
MFAMASIA: Kitu gani?….Mzee akatoa kichupa na kijiko akaweka …majimaji yaliyomo kwenye
kichupa kwenye kijiko na kumwambia mfamasia aonje, mfamasia akatia yale maji mdomoni na kuyazungusha zungusha mdomoni akionja;
MZEE: Nipe jibu, ina utamu wa sukari au chumvi au pilipili?
MFAMASIA: Kama chumvichumvi
MZEE: Hakuna sukari
MFAMASIA: Sukari hakuna kabisa
MZEE: Loh asante chukua hii alfu tano nashukuru sana, dokta alinambia nipime mkojo wangu kama nina kisukari, kumbe sina asante bwana mdogo

soma zaidi kuhusu Mzee kaingia pharmacy

A The sin of pornography

*THE SIN OF PORNOGRAPHY:*
*"
*
Porn was not made for entertainment or fun it
was made purposely to destroy both the actors
and their viewers. It feeds man with lust and makes him hungry for more.
That is what result in masturbation and all abominable sexual act.

soma zaidi kuhusu The sin of pornography

A Ukipenda Boga, penda na ua lake

UKIPENDA BOGA PENDA NA UA LAKE: Alifika
mwanaume akiwa ana hema ametoka kazini
kabla ya muda wa kawaida,akamwambia mke
wake Jiandae haraka tuna safiri kwenda
mbeya,mke akamuuliza kuna nini?? Akajibu mama
amefariki..mke akamwambia mi siwezi kwenda
kilioni nikiwa hivi, akaenda saluni akaweka
nywele vizuri na kubandika kope za
macho,aliporudi akaanza kupanga
nguo,akamuuliza mmewe hv mama yako
amefariki na nini?? Mme wake akamwambia
mama yangu hana kitu nimetoka kuongea nae
sasa hv…mke akahamaki si umeniambia kuwa
kuna msiba?? Akajibiwa kuwa mama yako ndio
kafariki,mke akaanza kugalagala na kupiga kelele
niwahishe haraka nyumbani nikamzike mama n
+sije kuta wamezika.,mme wake akamwambia
siwezi kwenda msibani nikiwa hv..subiri nikanyoe
ndevu……

soma zaidi kuhusu Ukipenda Boga, penda na ua lake

A Mbele ya hela binti usharobaro achia mbali

Boy:- hallow
Dem:- hellow
Boy:- ivi jina lako nani vile
Dem:- am miss precious A. K. A dope girl
Boy:-Okay, nmekutumia 50,000 nimeona Jina tofauti ngoja nipige customer care
Dem:-no no baby usipige Ah ah Hapana baby mi naitwa Andongolile Mwakasakafyuka πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

soma zaidi kuhusu Mbele ya hela binti usharobaro achia mbali

A MLEVI NA MCHUNGAJI WAMEKUTANA

MCHUNGAJI; "Unakunywa bia!?
MLEVI; "Ndio.
MCHUNGAJI; "Kwa siku unakunywa bia ngapi!?
MLEVI; "Nakunywa bia tano!
MCHUNGAJI; "Bia moja bei gani!?
MLEVU; "2500/
MCHUNGAJI; "Ulianza lini kunywa bia!?
MLEVI; "Miaka 18 iliyopita!
MCHUNGAJI; "Kwa hiyo kwa siku unatumia zaidi ya 10,000??
MLEVI; "Ndio!
MCHUNGAJI; "Kama u gekuwa unatunza hiyo pesa 10,000 kwa siku leo hii si ungekuwa na Range Rover!?
MLEVI; "Samahani, naweza kukuuliza swali!?
MCHUNGAJI; "Uliza!
MLEVI; "Unakunywa bia!?
MCHUNGAJI; "Hapana!
MLEVI; "Nionyeshe Range Rover yako!
MCHUNGAJI; "akasepa"

soma zaidi kuhusu MLEVI NA MCHUNGAJI WAMEKUTANA

A KARIBU KATIKA KILIMO CHA NYANYA

NYANYA HASA KWENYE OPEN SPACE CHANGAMOTO NI NYINGI, HASA WADUDU, KAMA SASA KUNA MDUDU ANAITWA Tuta Absoluta, au waswahili wanaimuita KANITANGAZE MAANA AKIKUVAMIA SHAMBANI HAKUNA NAMNA UTAACHA KWENDA KUMSIMULIA.

soma zaidi kuhusu KARIBU KATIKA KILIMO CHA NYANYA

A Angalia jamaa alivyouweza huu mchepuko wake

Kuna mchepuko nilimtumia nauli jana ili aje,.kwang sasa leo kaniambia eti " nimesahau ile line yenye M-pesa home plz nitumie tena kwa tigo mpenz""!! Me nikajifanya chizi nikatuma Kule kule kwenye voda (aliosema kaacha home) Nikatuma huko message ivi "nikuongezee Sh. Ngapi tena mpenz..!!" Akanjbu "elfu 20,000 tu mpenzi" Mtuhurumie jamani πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

soma zaidi kuhusu Angalia jamaa alivyouweza huu mchepuko wake

A Kitu gani kitatokea kisia toa maoni yako kama ni ww ungefanyaje?

Kuna mama mmoja ameolewa na wanapendana sana na mmeo. siku moja mme wake alisafiri kikazi (safari ya zaidi ya mwezi) nje ya mkoa. Siku mmeo anarudi, yule mama alimtafuta fundi seremala amrekebishie chaga za kitanda zilikuwa zimeharibika, kwa ajili ya maandalizi ya mechi ya above +18.

soma zaidi kuhusu Kitu gani kitatokea kisia toa maoni yako kama ni ww ungefanyaje?

A The will to win

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.

soma zaidi kuhusu The will to win

A Where do entrepreneurs come from and how do they develop?

If you choose an entrepreneurial career much will depend on your ability to learn quickly from experience, cope with uncertainty, respond to changing circumstances, and deal with unexpected critical incidents. You will find these things less difficult if you develop your general enterprising tendencies.

soma zaidi kuhusu Where do entrepreneurs come from and how do they develop?

A BUSINESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

Managing a business requires more than just the desire to be your own boss. It demands dedication, persistence, the ability to make decisions and the ability to manage both employees and finances. Your management plan, along with your marketing and financial management plans, sets the foundation for and facilitates the success of your business.

soma zaidi kuhusu BUSINESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

A Huyu mwalimu kakomolewa kweli

*Looku Looku* πŸ‘€πŸ‘€ *Ama Kweli Mkuki Kwa Nguruwe kwa Binadamu Mchungu Skia Hii….!!* *Ishawahi kutokea Pale nilipokutana njiani na mwalimu aliyekufundisha MATHS secondary afu akaniambia nimuelekeze njia ya kwenda sehemu fulani.* *_Nenda mbele kama 2KM hivi kisha kata kushoto,ila hakikisha ANGLE inakuwa ni 30.5 KUSINI MASHARIKI.Kisha tumia PYTHAGORAS na hakikisha una FOUR FIGURE ili kupata thamani ya ANGLE._* *Mwalimu alisonya na kuondoka.*πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜’πŸ˜’ *Stakagi ujinga kabisa mimi, wakati ananichapa alifikiri sifa*πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜…πŸ™ŒπŸ½πŸ™ŒπŸ½ *Mniache Tuu Mimi Sio Kwa Bifu Ilo Aiseee*πŸƒπŸΎ

soma zaidi kuhusu Huyu mwalimu kakomolewa kweli

A Angalia huyu Jamaa alichomfanyia mke wake jana

Jana niligombana na mke wng, Akaniambia nibebe kila kitu changu niondoke, Bas kiustaarabu tu nikachukua nguo zangu,mwishoni nikambeba na yeye nikamuweka begani nikaanza kuondoka nae

soma zaidi kuhusu Angalia huyu Jamaa alichomfanyia mke wake jana
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Posti za sasa

A Basic General Enterprising Tendencies (GETs)

β€’ Believe they can act on or interact with their environment
β€’ Are sensitive to opportunities and needs
β€’ Can set goals and make plans to realize ideas
β€’ Are pre-disposed to persevere, be self-reliant and maintain their motivation
β€’ Take calculated risks to facilitate the implementation of plans

soma zaidi kuhusu Basic General Enterprising Tendencies (GETs)

A How to overcome fear

Understand Your Fear Try to understand why you fear or what causes you to fear. Only when you have identified the source of your fear can you start on the process of overcoming it. You can start by listing all your fears on your notepad and then striking them off once you have overcome them. Breathe Deep Taking deep breaths when you are scared or worried helps you relax to a great extent. Make sure that you exhale longer than you inhale. Fear will automatically reduce since you will also calm down. This can also help you to think things out effectively. Breathing exercises can be practiced during meditation. Chalk Out A Plan & Be Positive Always have a plan for situations which may not bring you certain results. For instance, you may be afraid to attend an interview in fear of being rejected. You may also fear a date for similar reasons or may feel scared about losing your job as you do not know how life will be after that. But in all these situations, you can chalk out a plan beforehand, a plan which will bring you favorable results and thus kill all fears. Though plans do not work always, a positive attitude always does, therefore think positive in every walk of life. Confront Your Fears Many people are scared of something specific, like being in the dark or driving or swimming. If you too fall in the same category, make it a point to learn the thing that you fear doing. Even if you fail once or twice, don't give up on your hope and practice hard to overcome your fear. Switch off the lights when you are alone in a room and see what happens. You can be assured that nothing is going to attack you! Once when you have confronted your fear by actually performing the same thing that you fear, you will successfully kill your fear. Boost Up Confidence Sometimes, fear is the result of extreme low belief in oneself and low confidence. Practice exercises which help to boost self confidence. For example, you can stand in front of the mirror and pretend to speak to a stranger, so that you do not have to fear mingling with a new group of people the next time you come across one. This exercise can also help you overcome stage fright. Seek Medical Help If nothing seems to be working for you and you still feel intermittently scared, there is no harm in seeking medical help, for who knows, after a couple of sessions, you might actually be able to ward off your fear. Nowadays, there are psychiatrists who help people to overcome their fear and shortcomings. However, resort to this, only when all the above have failed.

soma zaidi kuhusu How to overcome fear

A Maneno makuu ya kimapenzi yenye thamani kwa mwanamke

KATIKA uhusiano wa kimapenzi yapo maneno mawili yenye thamani kubwa na yenye kubeba ujumbe mzito wa kimapenzi kwa mpenzi umpendaye kwa dhati, maneno hayo ni, 'nakupenda' na 'nitakuoa'.

soma zaidi kuhusu Maneno makuu ya kimapenzi yenye thamani kwa mwanamke

A Tabia 10 zinazoweza kuharibu figo

TABIA 10 ZINAZOWEZA KUHARIBU FIGO
1.Kubana mkojo kwa muda mrefu
2.Kutokunywa maji ya kutosha kila siku
3.Kutumia chumvi nyingi kuliko kawaida
4.Kula nyama mara kwa mara au mara nyingi
5.Kutokula chakula cha kutosha
6.Kuchelewa kujitibu maambukizi madogo
madogo haraka na kwa usahihi
7.Kutumia visivyo dawa za kutuliza maumivu
8.Kutumia dawa kwa ajili ya insulin kwa muda
mrefu
9.Kunywa pombe.
.
10.Kutopata muda wa kutosha wa kupumzika
USHAURI!!Kunywa glasi 2 za juisi ya parachichi
(avocado). Na angalau bilauli nne za maji asubuh
badala ya supu ya kongoro.. kila siku kutaziweka
figo zako katikahali ya usafi na afya.

soma zaidi kuhusu Tabia 10 zinazoweza kuharibu figo

A A lesson from ATM 🏧 machine

Yesterday I was at the ATM to get some cash because I dearly needed money.

soma zaidi kuhusu A lesson from ATM 🏧 machine

A Jinsi ya kuepuka kunuka mdomo

JINSI YA KUEPUKA KUNUKA MDOMO
MUUNGWANA BLOG / 3 hours ago

soma zaidi kuhusu Jinsi ya kuepuka kunuka mdomo

A Wakubwa nisaidieni!!

πŸ‘‡πŸ‘‡ Wakubwa nisahidieni.

πŸ‘‰ Sio kila EX ni EXPIRED, EX zingine ni EXAMPLE:
Utanielewa tu.
Ulimwengu huu tunaoishi Muogope sana Mpenzi
wa Zamani wa Mkeo kabla HUJAMUOA na
Muogope sana EX wa Mmeo kabla HAJAKUOA
kuliko hata hawa Vidume na Vijike vinavyomtaka
akiwa tayari amevaa pete.
I will tell you WHY!
Kuna watu walipendana sana lakini hao
waliowapenda kwa moyo hawakuoa kutokana na
Situations fulani mwanamke akalazimika aolewe
na kijamaa fulani tu ambacho kilikuja na sera
ambazo 'wanawake wanapenda' na kako vizuri
financially ikabidi huyu mwanamke aachane na
'Tulizo lake la moyo' kidemokrasia tu aolewe na
wewe.
It doesnt matter how lakini hawa watu wawili
walioachana kidemokrasia "Bado wanapendana
deep down" na hata ukifanikiwa kumuoa,
ukamhamisha mkoa wasionane, Ukambadilishia
namba za Simu wasiwasiliane tena, Itapita miaka
hata 6 hawajatiana machoni ipo siku watakutana
Kariakoo kwenye shopping, zile cheche na hamu
na mapigo ya moyo yataruka upya, na kifuatacho
ITV kitakuwa Isidingo Mapenzi yao hayakufa.
Pete haizuii kitu watajikuta wamefanya yao tena
kwa huba zito la kumisiana kwa hali ya juu, wewe
ukidhani Pete pekee itamlinda, kumbe waapiii, na
huo ndio utakuwa mwanzo wa hawa watu wawili
kuwa na Reunion kabambe ya Kulegeza Chaga,
wewe umeoa ?
Mahari mwenzio anapiga Bureee bila Mshenga.
Kama nadanganya Wanandoa waje na waseme
hapahapa.
Ndoa ni Complicated kuliko Hesabu za Logarithm
na Integration, Ndoa ni Fumbo na walioweza
kulifumbua ni wachache sana kwa msaada wa
Mungu, ila Wengi wanadhani wamelifumbua
Fumbo kumbe wametegwa na hawajui mtego
ulipo.
Ndoa needs God na watu wenye hofu ya Mungu
otherwise "UTAOLEA JIJI"

soma zaidi kuhusu Wakubwa nisaidieni!!

A Hapo sasa

Mfugaji mmoja alikwenda kwa mfugaji mwenzake (ambae pia ni bwana mifugo wa eneo lao) asubuhi moja. Alipobisha hodi mtoto wa kiume wa umri upatao miaka 12 akamfungulia mlango. Mazungumzo yafuatayo yakafuatia:

soma zaidi kuhusu Hapo sasa

A Which kind of witchcraft should I use?

People smoke and drink for a few days and get addicted to it.

soma zaidi kuhusu Which kind of witchcraft should I use?
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