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Posti nyingine

A Duh! Kizungu kigumu, cheki alichojibu huyu

‘``Nimetoka interview hapa ya job flani
Wameniuliza "so how far did you go with your education?", nikawaambia.. """""I didn’t go very far because our school was just behind our house"""
wameniambia ningojee watanipigia!```…….
πŸ˜€ *your prayers plz*

soma zaidi kuhusu Duh! Kizungu kigumu, cheki alichojibu huyu

A Angalia kilichomkuta huyu dada mwenye zarau, mwanae alikufa kwa zarau zake

Dada mmoja akiwa ofisini alipigiwa simu kuwa mwanae amepata ajali wakati anatoka shule, alikuwa ameumia sana. Kwa harakaharaka yule dada aliwasha gari na kuanza safari kuelekea hospitali ili kumuona mwanae.

soma zaidi kuhusu Angalia kilichomkuta huyu dada mwenye zarau, mwanae alikufa kwa zarau zake

A Avoid a bad Marriage

AVOIDING A BAD MARRIAGE.
By Pastor Chris Oyakhilome PhD.

soma zaidi kuhusu Avoid a bad Marriage

A How to bring people around you

Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to peoples mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Let the other man save his face. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

soma zaidi kuhusu How to bring people around you

A Madhara ya nyama nyekundu kwa mtu mwenye VVU

Hizi ni nyama zitokanazo na samaki, kuku, ndege wa aina zote, bata, wadudu

soma zaidi kuhusu Madhara ya nyama nyekundu kwa mtu mwenye VVU

A Angalia huyu mtoto anachomjibu baba yake baada ya kutoka kwenye mtihani

BABA: mwanangu kwenye huu mtihani uliofanya natumaini utafanya vizuri.
DOGO: ndio baba nitapata mia kwa mia.
BABA: kwanini unasema hivyo?.

soma zaidi kuhusu Angalia huyu mtoto anachomjibu baba yake baada ya kutoka kwenye mtihani

A Unakumbuka hizi enzi za utoto?

Kitambo tukiwa watoto ulikuwa unaitwa uje ule kwa lugha tofauti kulingana na chakula kilichopikwa siku na muda husika

soma zaidi kuhusu Unakumbuka hizi enzi za utoto?

A Unakumbuka haya enzi za shule?

Kama umesoma st Kayumba utakuwa una aidia na haya…
1.Unaenda shule umechelewa unakuta mwalim anakamata wachelewaj unaamua urudi nyumbani
2.unachukua kimbegu cha ubuyu unasugua sakafuni af unamuunguza mwenzio
3.mkiruhusiwa tu unakimbia unataka uwe wa kwanza kwenye njia yenu y kurudia nyumban
4.MTU akikukera unamfungia shule (mnapigana baada ya kufunga shule)
5.MTU akikunyima kitu chake unamwambia "Ahaa eeh utaona sa nne"
6.wadada wembamba ndo wanaongoza kwa kusuta wenzao
7.ukiibiwa daftar jipya unalia kuliko hata uliloandika
8.unajaza mapeni kwenye mkebe(compass) na mengine hayaandiki
9.vifaa vingine kwenye mkebe hujawahi hata kuvitumia mfano bikari labda utolee mwibaπŸ˜‚
10.hakuna habari nzur kama kuambiwa Leo hamna shule mwalim haupo
11.habari mbaya zaidi n kurud nyumban kutoka shule una njaa af unaambiwa chakula mgeni kaja tumempa
12.mtoto wa mwalim utamgundua tu kwanzia sweta begi na viatu vyake
13.usiombee umpige mtoto wa mwalim utataman uache shule
14.unatengeneza kifutio cha ndala af unatishia eti kinafuta hadi peniπŸ˜‚
15.ukaguzi na huna ufagio.. unaomba chelewa kwa watu af unaongeza kijiti katikati
16.siku ukienda na ufagio wanakagua maji, ukienda na naji wanakagua kuni au mboleaπŸ˜†
πŸ˜‚
Dah shule zetu hizi kiboko!!

soma zaidi kuhusu Unakumbuka haya enzi za shule?

A Hii pete bei gani?

Mwanamke mmoja aliingia duka la vito vya thamani, akaona pete moja ya dhahabu nzuri sana amabayo ilikuwa kwenye shelf ya chini, wakati anainama apate kuitazama vizuri kwa bahati mbaya (au nzuri!), shuzi likamtoka- druuuuuu, soni ikamuingia huku akigeuka haraka kuangalia kama kuna yeyote dukani pale ameliskia shuzi lake, macho yakagongana na mwenye duka ambaye alikuwa karibu huku uso ukiwa umejaa tabasamu zito, mwana mama hakuwa na uhakika kama amesikika au hakusikika, akaona atumie nafasi ile kuyeyusha…Akauliza "Hii pete bei gani?" . Jamaa mwenye duka, huku akiangua kicheko, akajibu "Umeiona tu umejamba, je nikikuambia bei yake si utakunya kabisa?"

soma zaidi kuhusu Hii pete bei gani?

A Sababu za Magonjwa ya Figo na jinsi ya kujikinga

*SABABU ZA MAGOJWA YA FIGO. JIHADHARI NA ONYEKA!.*
Raia wa Ghana wanazidi kufa kwa matokeo ya ugonjwa wa Figo.
*JINSI YA KUONDOKANA NA JANGA HATARI LA UGONJWA WA FIGO:*
*1.Usichelewe kwenda HAJA.* Kutunza mkojo kweye kibofu chako kwa muda mrefu ni wazo baya. Kibofu kikijaa kinaweza kusababisha uharibifu. Mkojo ambao unakaa kwenye kibofu huzidisha bakteria haraka.
Mara mkojo unaporudi nyuma ya njia na Figo, sumu dutu husababisha maambukizi ya figo, pia njia ya mkojo na "nephritis", pamoja na "uremia". Wakati wito asili (unahisi mkojo) fanya hivyo haraka iwezekanavyo.
*2. Kula Chumvi kupita kiasi.* Inatupasa kula Chumvi isiyozidi 5.8 gramu kwa siku.
*3. Kula nyama kupita kiasi.*
Protini ikizidi sana katika mlo wako inadhuru figo zako. Mmeng'enyo wa Protini unazalisha amonia- sumu dutu ambayo ina uharibifu mkubwa kwa figo zako. Nyama nyingi inaleta uharibifu zaidi wa figo.
4. *Unywaji mwingi wa "Caffeins".*
Caffein hutokana na vinywaji vya Soda na vinywaji vingine laini kama Kahawa, Redblue n.k. Hupandisha shinikizo la damu na figo zako kuanza mateso. Unapaswa kupunguza kiwango cha Coke, Pepsi, Red Bull, nk ambavyo hunywa kila siku.
*5. Kutokunywa maji.*
Figo zetu lazima zichakatwe vizuri kutekeleza majukumu yake vizuri. Endapo hatunywi ya kutosha, sumu dutu inaweza kuanza kukusanyika katika damu, kama hakuna kimiminika cha kutosha kutoa kwa njia ya figo. *** Kunywa zaidi ya bilauri 10 za maji kila siku.
Kuna njia rahisi ya kuangalia kama unakunywa maji ya kutosha: Angalia rangi ya mkojo wako; Wepesi wa rangi, ndiyo vzuri.
*6. Kuchelewa matibabu.*
Tibu matatizo yako yote ya kiafya kwa uhakika na uwe unachunguza afya yako mara kwa mara. Wapendwa na wapenzi wangu, hebu tujisaidie wenyewe… Shirikisha wengine, kama unajali. ----
*Pia epuka vidonge hivi, ni hatari sana:*
D- baridi*
Vicks Action- 500*
Actified*
Coldarin*
Cosome*
Nice*
Nimulid*
Cetrizet- D
Hivi vidonge vina Phenyl propanol- amide PPA ambayo husababisha stroke na ni marufuku Marekani.
MWISHO… Tafadhali, kabla ya kufuta, msaidie rafiki yako kwa kumpitishia hii..!
*Inaweza kumsaidia mtu!*
Wasambazie wengi kwa kadiri uwezavyo.
Shirikisha ujumbe huu kwa mpendwa wako.
*Maonyo muhimu ya Afya*
1. Jibu (pokea) simu wito na sikio la kushoto.
2. Usinywe dawa zako kwa maji baridi….
3. Usile milo mizito baada ya saa 11 jioni.
4. Kunywa maji vuguvugu mengi asubuhi na kiasi usiku. Usinywe maji baridi kamwe.
5. Muda bora wa kulala ni kutoka saa 4 usiku hadi saa 10 Alfajiri.
6. Usilale mapema baada ya kumeza dawa au baada ya mlo. Usiku, Kula chakula laini.
7. Usipokee simu yako ikiwa haina chaji. Wakati huo mionzi huwa ina nguvu mara 1000 .
Je, unaweza kuwasambazia watu unao wajali?
Mimi nimeshafanya kwako….!!.

soma zaidi kuhusu Sababu za Magonjwa ya Figo na jinsi ya kujikinga

A Huu mchezo hautaki makeup

mama mwenye nyumba anajipodoa anashinda saloon kujipodoa lakini house girl hata mafuta usoni hapaki lakini akipita na khanga yake moja tuu nyumba inatetemekaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ huu mchezo hautaki mekapu

soma zaidi kuhusu Huu mchezo hautaki makeup
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Posti za sasa

A Foleni ndeeeeefu

Foleni ndeeeeefu jamaa yupo kwenye daladala anaenda kazini kaona heri amuandikie boss wake msg kumtaarifu kuwa atachelewa ile anatakubofya SEND kibaka akaipitia simu. Jamaa kaishia kupga kelele "bonyeza send, bonyeza send wewe" abiria wote hawana mbavu

soma zaidi kuhusu Foleni ndeeeeefu

A Advice for knowledge

Advice just for knowledge…..
1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen
everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No
one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this
one decision will come 90 per cent of all your
happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people
who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see
again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be
all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them
win.
17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic
person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-
death matters, nothing is as important as it first
seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important
moments. It's there for our convenience, not the
caller's.
22. Be a good loser.
23. Be a good winner.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a
secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first
to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before
you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to
lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how
many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read,
No Regrets
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back
on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do
more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone
you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a
grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those
who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let
someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in
hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite
music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them,
'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side
table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3
a.m.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a
living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a
reason later.
43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for
the person in the car behind you.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in
someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in
any job is based on your ability to deal with
people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair.

soma zaidi kuhusu Advice for knowledge

A Soma huyu mtoto anachosema sasa, Ndoto za watoto bwana! Kazi ipo!

Mwalimu aliingia darasani na kuwauliza wanafunzi juu ya ndoto zao za baadae.
MWAL: John we unataka ukiwa mkubwa uwe nani?
JOHN: Nataka niwe daktari wa moyo niwasaidie watanzania wanaougua magonjwa ya moyo.
MWAL: vizuri. Na wewe Rose unataka kuwa nani?

soma zaidi kuhusu Soma huyu mtoto anachosema sasa, Ndoto za watoto bwana! Kazi ipo!

A Kwa heri 2015

KWAHERI 2015. UMENIFUNZA MENGI.
Mwaka umefika mwisho, zimebaki siku tatu tu
kuingia mwaka mwingine lakini yapo mengi
niliyojifunza mwaka huu na pengine ningepesha
kushare:
1. Kwamba si lazima sana kuwa na rundo la
marafiki kama hawaleti positive effects kwenye
maisha yako. Urafiki wa maongezi yasiyoleta
maendeleo ni uzamani chakavu.
2. Matumizi madogomdogo yasiyo ya lazima
huchelewesha maendeleo makubwa yenye kiu na
mimi. Nmekuwa na matumizi yasiyo ya lazima na
ndio matundu hayo madogo yamezamisha meli.
3. Mungu ndio kila kitu. Anza na maliza siku na
Mungu. Ukikosacho hakukupangia, usiumie,
muombe akuletee atakacho.
4. Harusi zinaumiza. Usipojiwekea kiwango
maalum na idadi ya harusi za kuchangia kwa
mwaka na kwa umuhimu utakuja kujenga nyumba
kwenye harusi za wenzako.
5. Lawama ni muhimu sana ili maisha yaende,
usiogope hasa pale unapokuwa unasimamia lililo
la kimaendeleo kwako. Kumridhisha kila binadam
ni ngumu. Kuna muda ni kwa maendeleo yako
inabidi uwe mbinafsi.
6. Mapenzi ni mazuri ila yasikuzidi 'kimo', vipo
vyamaana vya kulilia sio mapenzi. Kikulizacho
ndicho ulichokipa kipaumbele. Mtu aamuapo
kukuliza na wewe ukalia basi umemtukuza.
Mapenzi yasiyosumbua na yaliyojaa mijadala ya
kimaendeleo ndiyo mapenzi yenye afya.
7. Watu waliowengi hasa kwenye mitandao ya
kijamii wana matatzo na ukichaa, usibishane nao
hasa kwenye mambo yasiyokuletea wewe
maendeleo. Usione hasara kuwafanya wajione
washindi.
8. Wazazi ni Muhimu sana, sala zao ni muhimu
kwako. Usipende kuhonga mpita njia akuachaye
siku yeyote ukawasahau wazazi wako. Wapo
watu sikukuu hizi wametumia maelfu ya shilingi
kuhudumia wanawake zao au wanaume zao
wapitaji wakasahau wazazi wao hata kwa pesa
ya dawa.
9. Kuahirisha mambo ni ugonjwa wa kuridhika na
dhiki. Uahirishapo atakaye uwe chini anafurahi.
Muaibishe shetani kwa mipango thabiti.
10. Panga kwaajili ya 2016 kabla haijafika,
kupanga kunakupa nafasi ya kujihakiki.
2016 mwaka wa kucheza na 'altenatives'.

soma zaidi kuhusu Kwa heri 2015

A Kila mtu dunia hii anahistoria yake

Kijana wa miaka 24 alikua anaangalia ktk dirisha la treni, mara akahamaki akasema…

soma zaidi kuhusu Kila mtu dunia hii anahistoria yake

A See how this man reacts!

A man went for HIV test on Saturday and they told him tocome back on Monday to pic his results.On sunday he went to church and the pastor was praying and said "… may the things that you'll receive as from tomorrow be positive …"The man quickly opened his eyes and shouted "Acha ujinga weweeee!!"

soma zaidi kuhusu See how this man reacts!

A Kilimo kizuri cha pilipili hoho

Pilipili hoho ni zao la jamii ya pilipili isiyo kali, tunda lake ni nene kiasi la duara pia linaweza kuwa lililochongoka. Pilipili hoho hutumika katika kutengeneza rangi za asili za vyakula ambazo kwa sasa hupendwa zaidi kuliko zile zinazotokana na kemikali na pia huongeza ladha na harufu katika vyakula. Hivyo hutumika katika viwanda vya kusindika vyakula, kwa mapishi ya nyumbani na hata katika viwanda vya vipodozi kama rangi ya mdomo, uso n.k. Ina virutubisho muhimu vinavyohitajika mwilini kama madini ya chuma, vitamin A na C.

soma zaidi kuhusu Kilimo kizuri cha pilipili hoho

A Developing Business Ideas and Opportunities

You may have considered the prospect of starting your own business many times before. The thought of being your own boss – calling the shots, being responsible for your own financial rewards – is very alluring. You may have had the drive, the experience, and the financial resources necessary to succeed. The only thing stopping you were figuring out what type of business you should start.

soma zaidi kuhusu Developing Business Ideas and Opportunities

A Simulizi ya mapenzi

SIMULIZI, hii iwasute na kupatwa na hofu ya mungu nyote mlio ktk mahusiano/ndoa yenu.

soma zaidi kuhusu Simulizi ya mapenzi
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